selig's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 12:56pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 12:50pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 11:58am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 1:03pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 12:48pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2014 @ 2:01pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 28 Jan, 2014 @ 3:29pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2014 @ 1:05pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2014 @ 11:23am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 1:58pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 5:42pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2014 @ 12:42pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2014 @ 11:12am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2014 @ 6:50pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 8 Feb, 2014 @ 2:27pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 28 Jan, 2014 @ 2:25pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2014 @ 9:45am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2014 @ 1:31pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2014 @ 12:04pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 1:01pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2014 @ 12:26pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 29 Jan, 2014 @ 2:23pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2014 @ 12:04pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 29 Jan, 2014 @ 2:21pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 2:03pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2014 @ 6:42pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 11:58am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 29 Jan, 2014 @ 2:22pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 11:58am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2014 @ 12:08pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 3:37pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 8 Feb, 2014 @ 2:26pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 12:58pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 11:57am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 12:03pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2014 @ 7:17pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2014 @ 7:00pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2014 @ 9:44am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2014 @ 7:16pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2014 @ 1:15pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2014 @ 10:48am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2014 @ 7:09pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2014 @ 12:35pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 5:44pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 7:14pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 10:36am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2015 @ 9:21pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:58pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 11:13am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2015 @ 9:20pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

28 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

13 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

1 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,290 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

4 / 30