trench's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 2:33pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2016 @ 6:08am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 8:42pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2016 @ 5:16am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2016 @ 6:46am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2016 @ 11:24pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2016 @ 4:58pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2016 @ 10:39am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2016 @ 1:18pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2016 @ 4:49pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2017 @ 1:30pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2016 @ 6:16pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2016 @ 5:53pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 14 Jan, 2017 @ 1:44pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2016 @ 2:18pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2016 @ 2:16pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 2:47pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 27 Nov, 2020 @ 2:23pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2016 @ 11:40am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 3:32pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2016 @ 6:28am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2017 @ 10:53am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2017 @ 7:43am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2016 @ 12:40pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2017 @ 5:21am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2017 @ 1:32pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 3:18pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 8:43pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2016 @ 10:36am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2016 @ 12:25am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2017 @ 5:08pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 14 Jan, 2017 @ 3:18pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 22 Jul, 2016 @ 9:24am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2016 @ 6:51am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 2:49pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2016 @ 11:54pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2016 @ 2:39pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2016 @ 3:55pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2016 @ 1:42am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2016 @ 1:37am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 25 Mar, 2023 @ 12:11pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2016 @ 2:50pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2016 @ 7:29am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2017 @ 1:32pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2017 @ 8:09am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2017 @ 4:30pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 24 Feb, 2017 @ 1:19am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2017 @ 12:33pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2017 @ 7:55am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2017 @ 6:07pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2017 @ 7:31pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2017 @ 3:55pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2016 @ 3:45pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2016 @ 2:49am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

15 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

9 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

6 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

11 / 30