௵Ỏ ௸ ౠỎ இ ෴ ඐ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:21am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:33pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:22am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:19pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:32pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2023 @ 3:18am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:34am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2019 @ 10:55am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2019 @ 10:50am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2019 @ 2:08am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2019 @ 10:37am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2019 @ 9:34am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2021 @ 10:29am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2020 @ 2:36pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2022 @ 2:47pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 12 Jun, 2020 @ 2:32am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2019 @ 10:26am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:56am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:40pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2023 @ 5:12am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2020 @ 2:30pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 10:47am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:28pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2019 @ 9:02am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2021 @ 9:43am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2019 @ 10:31am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2019 @ 9:39am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2022 @ 2:29pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2021 @ 2:36am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2019 @ 2:06am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2019 @ 11:14am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2023 @ 4:13am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2019 @ 9:05am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2019 @ 11:18am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2022 @ 2:29pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:22pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:42am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2019 @ 10:50am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:01pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:24pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:03pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:47am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2019 @ 10:05am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 22 Sep, 2019 @ 11:18am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2023 @ 1:00pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2021 @ 2:19pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2022 @ 2:29pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2022 @ 3:13am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 19 Sep, 2019 @ 3:29am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2023 @ 1:41pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2022 @ 2:29pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2021 @ 6:14am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 6 Aug, 2023 @ 1:55pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 8 Aug, 2023 @ 4:55am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2020 @ 2:21pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2021 @ 2:18am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2021 @ 3:28am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 8 Aug, 2023 @ 12:48pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 8 Aug, 2023 @ 12:59pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2021 @ 2:44am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2021 @ 8:44pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2019 @ 12:27pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 20 Sep, 2019 @ 10:33am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

9 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

8 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

2 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

475 / 5,000