Wake up, wavedash out of bed, say a quick prayer in front of the TMM shrine near the bed.
Head over to the kitchen, eat a hopkick for breakfast.
Proceed to boot up Tekken 7 and practice EWGF. For 11 hours. Go into ranked, see the other guy is using Nina, plug. Next opponent is Dragunov, plug. Next opponent is Bryan, plug. Next opponent is Heihachi. "Finally a honest character. I must show my superiority". Spam hellsweep in neutral, 1,1,2 to punish -90 moves. Win by using a df2 by accident. "That's enough Tekken for today".

Time to get out of the house.
Wavedash into the bathroom, put hair gel on to get the spikiest of hair. "Casual or formal?". End up putting on business pants and a leather jacket. Tuck the leather jacket into the pants.
Rush out of the house, bumping into everyone on the way to his destination. When confronted by angry people pushed aside "Just sidestep, scrub" is the only answer.
Get to the party. Stay in a dark angle, arms crossed. A girl approaches. "Wow you've got a really muscular left arm. Do you do much excercise?". Answer "Plenty". "Sure it's no steroids?". Angrily gawk at her, then say "This is reality". "What do you do for a living?". Think about it for 2 seconds, then reply "Execution and neutral". Confused, she walks away. "Can't even kbd, like all weak scrubby female characters. Pathetic". When someone comes over and points out "Nobody invited you", grab the nearest valuable good and say "Power is everything" while wavedashing out of the building. When held back and punched by the other patrons, plug out of the commotion.

Alone, wavedashing in the streets amidst the darkness of night, get home. Once there, tweet a save-scummed Warrior rank screenshot to Arslan Ash, fruit of hard work and dedication and much EWGF training in practice mode. "I'm coming for you at EVO 2020". Backdash back to bed, sleep, repeat.

I'm a Mishima player
I wake up today, went to the kitchen to eat something. My dad came in and said "good morning". Poor man. He doesn't play Mishima. He doesn't know how good it is wavedashing inf front of people.

I just ignored him. If you can't EWGF, don't even talk to me.

My niece ask me to watch her dance in school, but I can't, 'cause TMM is live on twitch. Time to watch high level Mishima. The stream is going fine, but he's demoted again because of some braindead Feng player spamming ♥♥♥♥.

The stream is off, so I decide to play some tekken and do the same fancy stuff I was watching, because, you know, I'm a Mishima player. It's a Lars. LUL. This ♥♥♥♥ will never beat me. I wavedash in front of him for 5 seconds and I know I'm on his head. I do the math and decide to hellsweep, then I do another and another. The best mixup it's the no mixup. Now he's ducking all the time and I'm doing mid ♥♥♥♥. Twon rounds in a row like this. Easy win.

This guy is not worth playing again. Like I said, I wanted to play tekken, I want to fight another Mishima.

Leo? No. Feng? LUL. No.

Oh, now I get a Mishima. But it's Devil Jin. This guy wants easy mode Mishima, huh? But that's fine. At least, it's Tekken

I lose the match because I don't have reliable mid pokes. i know in my heart that I'm better. I'm a Mishima player.

My father gave me a lecture about Mishima elitism
Another day playing Mishima. Electrics all over the place. Man, i never get tired of EWGFing people. My father heard me shouting DORIYA and came to my room to understand what's going on.

"I'm playing Mishima, dad".

He's curious about it, so I started explaining everything about the Mishimas.

"That's the EWGF. A just frame launcher - it's not as good as it is hard to master though"

But it's not everything, of course. there's wavedash. A complex movement techinique that allows you all kind of things.

He's fascinated. "That's terrific, son. Can all characters do those moves?"

"LUL, no".

The only question my father had in that moment, even though it's his first time seeing tekken, is "So what's the point of the other characters?"

In five minutes a person understand the reality of tekken.

The Mishima players and the lazy untalented ones. That's what I thought, but it wasn't the case. After showing him some EVO matches, I said "let's get to the good stuff". He's amazed by the TMM stream. "You know, dad, All electricity in Sweden comes from TMM arcade stick".

I noticed my father wasn't smiling anymore. He said "A few minutes ago I asked what's the point of the other characters. That was enough time to know the answear. Don't you see?"

I was confused as hell.

"Do you think the whole game goes around your perfect execution? Who else those people that can't do electrics will play?"

And he goes on "Who's that guy who played the robot?".

"Saint".

"How would this guy play the game without those easy characters? The world is not made of Mishima. You want to feel special and, at the sime time, want eveyone to be a Mishima? Grow up, kid".

And I never thought about it. And he's right. I couldn't win this argument with my father. even when I was explaining that Kazuya is not as good as he's hard and should be able to low parry mid to make up for it. It didn't matter anymore.

It's ok if you want to play Miguel. Mishima is not a steam sale for everyone to enjoy. It's all the community where a Mishima player and a Leo player can use the same bathroom.

Last night a casual girl challenged me, a Mishima main, at the Tekken 3 arcade.
Last night a friend of mine was playing with a random girl at the T3 arcade that is in the bar where we usually hang out, she was smacking his ass out spamming some king’s bs, enough for her to think she’s good.

Her hype was real hence I decided to put an end at the shame-shower my bro was being put into.
I walk towards them holding my old fashioned (best cocktail, a Mishima main must drink only Bourbon whiskey) and as expected she invites me to play against her. I gladly accepted with an evil smirk on my face. She thought I was a casual drunk boy, oh lord, she doesn’t know I’m a gigachad Kishin Kazuya main.

Her friend was even more hyped and confident about the girl that proposed us to bet some money, ''50 bucks'' she yelled, I doubled the bet and took hwoarang, because why not. Easy money on those goth girls these days. I take a sip and place my glass on the table behind us.

First round, I launch her ass into the stratosphere with an easy LFS 3,3,3 opening, strictly followed by a series of tumultuous korean kicks, perfect. Next round. Again, same treatment, perfect. She’s in shock and asks for a rematch.

But what’s this bullshittery, I’m not a braindead player, let’s quit the hwoarang circus, time to bring on the table a based Mishima show-off. She was unaware of the demon she was about to face.

The cute lady mirrors my pick and goes for Jin (the only Mishima available on the T3 arcade ver.) thinking it’s an easy dude.

First round, I step back waiting for her to start the spastic button mashing, as predicted she whiff. Wave tech into her face, boom, double EWGF, some juggles, perfect. Round two, this time I start blocking all of her random ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and here her panic begins “this character is trash” she said, no he’s just a lesser-mishima but mind your words wench.

Hellsweep, Double EWGF into a u4 vortex of pain, perfect. Another match, she said. I turn back to have sip of my favorite drink. She move again onto king. I stay Mishima.

Same gameplan: wait for her first whiff to launch her ass in the doom of my combos, at this point she even started panic mashing my own buttons hoping for me to stop the terror lmfao – “let me playyy” she said with a horny accent. It was in that moment that she felt completely in love with my Mishima savoir-faire and asked yet another rematch.

This one I want to make it quick (I’m not taking her money but this lady owe me at least a drink) so I pick Paul, she keeps king.

Ro