And if it wasn't clear already: Thank you for trying. I know things must be really hard for you right now. I hope I'm not causing you any problems. You were a massively positive presence in my life and I want to be able to return the favor.

I hope so. I really hope you'll add me.

I'm sorry, that kind of is a lot to say in public. I don't know, I guess I can try to talk when I feel more stable i guess/ i'm sorry

If it needs saying: I am perfectly comfortable being around "a mess", as you put it. I hope you'll give me a chance.

First of all thank you so much for trying to respond. I don't want to pretend to know what you're struggling with, I just want a chance to be around you. You can ask me to not talk to you unless you talk first, I am willing to go to great lengths to accomodate your needs and make you feel safe and comfortable. All I really want is to be able to talk to you, on your terms. If for no other reason than to not have this conversation on a public profile.

I'm sorry...I'm not sure how to explain, but I guess it's like...imposter syndrome or something? It's just hard to really grasp that I could've made you happy when all I ever seem to do is trip over my words and say stupid wrong things. It feels like you saw a completely different person in me and I'm afraid the disconnect is going to end up hurting you somehow. I'm sorry I had that anxiety attack. I'm just...kind of a mess I guess. I'm a coward with a weak heart and I really think you deserve better than to have me dragging you down.