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C4 Alarms

The STUNNING SEQUEL to CAR ALARMS you've all been waiting for! Packed with actions, explosions, a deep plot and an even deeper explosive fetish, C4 Alarms hits all the right chords.

10/10 "Was an experience i'll never forget." - IGN

01/10 "Ears ringing. Volume should be turned down." - Pretty much everyone on Metacritic.

100/10 "Too quiet, highly advised to turn volume up for full experience" - Bellerophon

That's right! Critics are raving about this perfectly customised custom map. Comes with no blinking lights! Automatic roll up windows! Four wheel drive! 40% APR, whatever that is!

Call now, get the deal of a lifetime! If you can name off all the not true things said so far, you'll give you a 200% discount! And 200% of 0 is still 0, so you don't get anything from us!


sideeffects include: the common cold, flu, anxiety, inability to spell words correctly, fever, broken bones, loss of hearing, sudden death, a sudden inexplicable attraction to fictional characters, inability to use words correctly, sudden hernia, increase in prices, crashing the stock market, loss of sight, sudden death of loved ones, sudden death of unloved ones, an usual love for chocolate milk, severe plaque, severe tacky dress choices, schizophrenia, insanity, drug addictions, the cure for cancer, headaches.