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🤤
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
😵
"If value corrupts then absolute value corrupts absolutely."
😲
"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked
out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
-- Steel City News
🤑
Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
steroid-free fitness center.
-- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
🤧