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-Four Russians break into house
-"What the devil?" I say as I grab my musket and powdered wig
-Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot
-Draw my pistol on the second man, misses him entire because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbor's dog
-I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot
-"Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the extra shrapnel sets off car alarms
-Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion
-Bleeds out waiting on the police because triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up
-Just as the founding father's intended