To any of you visiting from the Hunt: Showdown community, hi! Below are three things you'll need going forward.

A spell to make friends (this is your last chance at this one king):

Take a pasithea or wormwood root and write this name on it in a holy manner: f TAc-1-3 M m L . Then carry it, and you will be an object of favor, friendship, and admiration to people who see you. The formula: 1 dram of myrrh, 4 drams of truffle, 2 drams of blue vitriol, 2 400 drams of oak gall, 3 drams of gum arabic.

A spell to acquire women in a carnal fashion (trust me magic is the only shot you have here):

Take the hide of an ass' and, after drying it in shade, inscribe on it the figure which will be revealed and inscribe this spell in a circle: "AAMASI NOUTHI APHTHE- CHENBOCH POUPAIEICHNERI TA LOUTHIANI SERANOMBGRENTI EI BII. / LONOU- CHICH EITA PHOR CHORTOMNOUTHI THRACH PHIBOBI ANTEX0 PIIOCHOR- THAROCH EBOCH LESANOUACH PHEOROBIS TRAION K~BI INOUNIA SAPHOBI CHIMNOUTHI ASK0 / CHNOUPHNEN PHARMI BOLCHOSETH EPHOUKTEKo AB- DIDANPITAAU EAE BOL SACHY ACHCHEKIMA EMINTO ROORIA EN AMOUN AK- REMPHTHO OUTRAUNEIL I LABOCH PHERACHI AMENBOL BECH OSTAOUA BELTHO; I adjure you, dead spirit, by the powerful and inexorable god and by his holy names, to stand beside me in the I coming night in whatever form you used to have, and inform me whether you have the power to perform the NN deed; immediately, immediately; quickly, quickly!" ~then go quickly to where [someone] lies buried or unearthe something has been discarded, if you do [not] have a buried body; I spread the hide under him at about sunset. Return [home], and he will actually be present and will stand beside you on that night. And he describes to you how he died, but first he tells you if 1 he has the power to do anything or to perform any scribe. And take a leaf of flax and with the black ink which will be revealed to you, paint on it the figure of the goddess who will be revealed to you, and paint in a circle this spell (and place on his head the leaf which has been spread out and wreathe him with black ivy, and he will actually stand beside you through the night in dreams, and he will ask you, saying, "Order whatever you wish, and I do it"): "PHOUBEL TAUTHY ALDE MIN6OURITHI 1 SENECHO CHELETHICHITIATH MOU CHO ARIANTA NARACHI MASKELLI AEBITHO ACHAIL CHAOSOUNISOU SOUNIARTE- NOPH AKCHEREPHTHOUMI / BOLPHAI AROCHO ABMENTHO PHORPHORBA CHNOUCHIOCHOIME; I adjure [you], dead spirit, by the Destiny of Destinies,'~' to come to me, NN, on this day, on this night, and I agree to the act of service for me. And if you don't, expect other chastisements." And when he agrees, rise up immediately and take a roll of hieratic papyrus and write on it with the black ink which will be revealed to you the figure which will be revealed to you and write in a circle this spell and offer it to him, and straight away he will attract, even if he is unmanageable, immediately without delaying a single day. But often there will be no need for the leaf of flax, but in the second spell the papyrus sheet is to be placed there after you have commanded the act of service for you. He attracts and causes one to be ill, and he sends dreams and restrains, and he obtains revelations by dreams as well. These are the things which this single spell accomplishes. Depending on what you are performing, alter only the passage with the usual items."" Most of the magicians, who carried their instruments with them, even put them aside and used him as an assistant. And they accomplished the preceding things with all dispatch. For [the spell] is free of excessive verbiage, immediately carrying out as it does the preceding things with all ease. Spell: "I say to you, chthonic daimon, for whom the magical material of this female has been embodied on this night: proceed to where this female resides and bring her to me NN either during the middle of the night or quickly. Perform the deed because the holy god osiris ICMEPHI sRo wishes and commands it of you. Fulfill, daimon, what I is written here. And after you have performed it, I will pay you a sacrifice. But if you delay, I will inflict on you chastisements which you cannot endure. And perform for me the NN deed, immediately, immediately; quicky, quickly.

A three generation curse on your bloodline containing (but not limited to) FOMO, boils, leprosy, small schlongus (could also be genetics), male-pattern baldness, and really bad BO (also could be genetics):

"IAKOUNBATI I0 ERBETH Id BOIGHOSETH I0 PAKERBETH ld PATATHNAX Id ERAPOMPS Ii) TANONO 10 ElIB&TH 10 ABRASAX Ii) PSAAPOPSI / I0 PKTHEA- POPS Id ISIdR Id PAKERBETH I0 PAKERB1i)TH AMOUNAUEIEOUN PEITdRE AU EN KTENOUATEI . . . KOX. . . ous PSETAESEEBOLNOURTOUMETHERENOUBTANOUN / TEB IMETHE . . . LENE EUINASMA"