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Tips fedora brim over eyes to give an aura of mystery and glides up to you on my light up heelies
H-hi m'lady, would you perhaps consider being my qt 3.14 gf? snickers nefariously /thinks to self/ "man if this works, I'll get this cute girl to be my girlfriend and I'll ride the cool roller coasters!"
c'mon, luck be a lady tonight! cross fingers and gulps s-so...adjusts collar and looks firmly what do you say to my proposal? waits patiently :3
Plzrespond, I'm a nice guy who will treat you right unlike all those other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who only care about looks!
Don't ignore me you rancid swine, I knew it #niceguys finish last! You're probably out having dinner with Chad now!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Sometimes I just write nonsense and other times I make up something insensitive to evoke angry responses:
When I was just fourteen, I was given the task of drowning kittens by my girlfriend's mother. I filled a large laundry sink with room temperature water and held the eight kittens under. As each kitten died and sank to the bottom, it turned and rested 'snuggled' to the previous. I put them in a garbage bag and was carrying it out when the bag moved and I heard a meow. I opened the bag and found one kitten had survived. So I drowned it again.
And that is an exact one thousand.
) ) ⦅‖ ͇͇ ͇͇▃▇͇͇͌̿̿⌂͇͇▌..* ★ ☆ . ★ ^v^ ° ❅ ☆ . ★ ^v^ °
__̅̏̏̏̏̋̋̏̏▅̅̏̏̏̋̏_ ╱◥███████╲ ˆ...^v^ ˆˆ︵.︵...^v^︵¸ ❅ ° ╱◥◣ ☆ . * ★ *
╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓∩║ MERRY CHRISTMAS & │∩ │◥███◣ ╱◥███◣
│╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║╲◥███╲ HAPPY NEW YEAR ╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓│∩
││∩│ ▓ ║∏ 田║▓ 田田 ▓ ∩║ ii--ii-- 2017 ii--ii--ii--ii │╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║◥█▓ ▓█
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