I remember 1️⃣ time 🕢 I was slapping my 🐣baby 🐣 to sleep🌘 when I noticed my neighbour's kitchen 🔪 was 🔛 🔥fire 🔥. First thing I did was grab my 🏡garden 🏡 hose and spray the whole side of my house🏚 so🆘 it🇮🇹 wouldn't light🕯🕯 🆙, then I attached the hose to my 🐥baby🐥 until 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 blew 💥 up🔺 like💌 🅰️ water 🚿 💭balloon 💭 and kicked that little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ right▶️ through my neighbour's kitchen 🍳 window where it🇮🇹 immediately doused the 🔥flames🔥 then I took my 🚤boat🚤🚤 and hate😡-♥♥♥♥♥♥ 🅰️ tuna iiiiiim mormon #deletefacebook

+rep this guy on crack or something smh my head

iT AINT GAY TO GET YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I had a girl come over one day. The second she walked inside, I threw her on the couch, took off her shoes, and put on her favourite TV show so she could relax and feel comfortable. Then I forced her to the kitchen, shoved her over the dining table, and cooked a nice candle-light dinner. Then I finally carried her to my bedroom, ripped off her clothes, and gave her a new set of pajamas so she could sleep comfortably.

A real friend does not send you money.
A real friend sends you 41 porn sites.
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Math is like girls; if it's under 12 do it in your head.