Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world,
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan, number one exporter of potassium,
All other countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan, home of Tinshein swimming pool,
Its length 30 metre, width 6 metre.
Filtration system a marvel to behold,
It remove 80% of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place,
From plains of Tarashek to northern fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan,
They very nosy people, with bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan, industry best in world,
We invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan's prostitutes cleanest in the region,
Except of course for Turkmenistan's.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place,
From plains of Tarashek to northern fence of Jewtown…
Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader,
From junction with the testes to tip of its face