Chadward
John C Holmes   Compton, California, United States
 
 
Currently Online
I've been gaming since before you could jiggle your joystick...
You know, I've got a 13 inch penis; and Glenn Quagmire is the best damn pilot I've ever seen.
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4,700
Market Transactions
You certianly can't say I don't give a shit!
Artwork Showcase
Jynxx
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Screenshot Showcase
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated
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Review Showcase
Yes I realize how many hours I have logged "in game" for this title (including modding and ideling). Yes I realize how many of you pasty, cheeto fingered virgins are foaming at the mouth at a thumbs down for this game. I still think it's ♥♥♥♥.

I was first introduced to the Elder Scrolls Series in 2002 when Morrowind came out. That game blew my mind. It transported me to a foreign world where I had to learn the culture and work my way up the political heirarchy to survive. I felt like I was part of a magical universe that was original, and believable. Skyrim is the opposite of this.

Skyrim chose to introduce the most played out, boring, stereotypical fantasy trope of them all (dragons), and jam them forcefully down your throat at every oppertunity. The world is as sterile as a hospital room, and the characters are all lifeless. Sure it looked pretty in 2011, but who cares who it looks when there is nothing interesting to do?

It even tells you which characters you can and can't kill. There's nothing more satisfying than sneaking into an enemy camp, methodically slaughtering every NPC, only to find that the last Captian is deemed a "VIP" by the game engine, and therefore can only be stunned. Never Killed. You end up leaving and this guy is just happily pacing around in circles among the bodies of his dead comrades for the rest of the game, repeating the same tired lines over and over. Talk about immersion.

It is impossible not to be good at this game. Wanna be an Orc who only uses magic, and light armor? You can! Wanna be a Breaton who weilds a two handed claymore and heavy armor? You can! That's because every character you make will feel exactly the same. Your starting skills, race, etc do not matter. You can automatically be good at anything you want, and character classes don't even exist. This will ensure every playthrough feels exactly the same as the one before it.

Worried you might actually get killed once or twice out there on your adventures? Not to worry! The game scales the enemies' strength/health realitive to you, so you'll never have to worry about those big bad monsters and dragons being too mean to you.

The game holds your hand more than any game I've ever played. Your choices don't matter at all. The civil war has no effect on the story no matter which side you pick. 300+ hours invested in this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ trainwreck of a game, and I still haven't been able to finish the main quest because it is so boring.

Avoid this game like the plague. If you want a good elder Scrolls game, buy The Elder Scrolls 3 Morrowind GOTY edition. You'll be doing yourself a favor.
Recent Activity
1.3 hrs on record
last played on 27 Dec
50 hrs on record
last played on 23 Nov
0.7 hrs on record
last played on 6 Nov
51*pl 22 Nov @ 6:32am 
Greetings from DF:BHD community. We still play the game. You can check gameplays on my YT videos. Feel free to join our grops and discord.
Stephanie J 8 May @ 10:57am 
Happy Birthday! :lismile:
Stephanie J 18 Apr @ 10:56am 
Only left your living room wall open to give you that indoor-outdoor living space you've always wanted. Better airflow, right? And don't worry, 'the guy' is on his way. He just took a scenic route...
⌬ Codified ⌬ 17 Apr @ 11:43am 
You have to send it to a lab, expensive yes but for your piece of mind, I think it will be worth it
Chadward 18 Jan @ 5:07pm 
Way ahead of you, chief
⌬ Codified ⌬ 18 Jan @ 9:20am 
How about drinking a bottle of whiskey? I'm sure that could do the trick