The Enforcer's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 1:09pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2014 @ 6:16am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 10:07am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 1:09pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 16 May, 2015 @ 6:46am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2014 @ 6:14am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 9:42am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 12:06pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 1:35pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 May, 2015 @ 6:14am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 16 May, 2015 @ 5:46am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 16 May, 2015 @ 7:19am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2022 @ 11:26am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2017 @ 9:42am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2022 @ 1:05pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 9:59am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 11:55am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2016 @ 1:51am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 16 May, 2015 @ 5:18am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2022 @ 1:13pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2022 @ 11:27am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 12:08pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 15 May, 2015 @ 6:10am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2017 @ 8:56am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 16 May, 2015 @ 7:17am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2014 @ 7:33am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 1:32pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 12:54pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 11:35am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 14 May, 2015 @ 6:23am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 1:13pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2014 @ 6:19am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 12:53pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2014 @ 7:40am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 1:09pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Nov, 2014 @ 7:28am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 13 May, 2015 @ 12:16pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 14 May, 2015 @ 6:25am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 May, 2015 @ 7:15am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 14 May, 2015 @ 6:25am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2017 @ 3:26am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 1:20pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 14 May, 2015 @ 6:35am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 14 May, 2015 @ 6:25am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2022 @ 7:50am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2014 @ 1:04pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 16 May, 2015 @ 7:20am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 9:52am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 11:03am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2016 @ 2:13am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2016 @ 5:13am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2016 @ 8:52am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2020 @ 11:07pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2019 @ 9:06am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2016 @ 11:29am

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2020 @ 11:43pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2016 @ 8:29am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2016 @ 2:41am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2017 @ 9:04am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

11 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

18 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

15 / 30

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

17 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

10 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

2 / 30