p0kerman's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:19am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:59am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 6:37am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:24am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:33am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 5:20am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 6:30am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 11:35pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:32am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:30pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 4:42am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 5:47am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 7:58am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 30 Mar, 2017 @ 10:38am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 1:49pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:24pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 1:45pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:04am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 3:35am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:38am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 4:09am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 5:42am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 2:26pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 4:18am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 6:41am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 3:49am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:02pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 5:51am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 11:15am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 11:31am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:18am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 4:12am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 5:25am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 3:58am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 11:20pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:32pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 6:26am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 6:38am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 11:59am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 6:29am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:19am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 5:15am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:25pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 11:09am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 11:13am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 11:31pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 6:45am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 1:44pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 12:53pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2015 @ 11:40pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 16 Apr, 2015 @ 3:00pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 7:59am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2016 @ 1:02am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

11 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

140 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

17 / 30