I am here to solve all of you're problems and show you the secret to gettin over issues. A little known secret is every problem you've ever had can be linked back to you being fat. Ever forget anything important? It's because youre fat. Ever get in trouble? It's because your're fat. Hitler rise to power and incite WWII? It's because you're fat. How do you fix and eliminate this problem? Look at yourself in the mirror, give yourself a stern look and say, "Self, Stop bein' so damn fat. Just stop it" And it your fat doesn't shrink away, its either because you're super fat, or you didn't say stop it sternly enough. And if you think to yourself " Hey, I'm not fat..." Of course you'd think that fatty. fatty fatty fat fat. Go get that second piece of cake. Eat it all up fatzilla. Moo for me cow, moooooooo.