Greetings autistic, gay, and sincerely caring nerds and dweebs that are reading this dissertation after presumably corresponding with me over the modern telecommunications systems known as the internet. I would like to first clarify any confusion or misunderstanding your microscopic, pea-sized, infantile, and most likely British brain is having in grasping the concepts I have most likely abruptly and perhaps even shockingly brought to a crashing realization. I would like to start by clearing up several key elements of my assertion.

1) My brain is larger than your brain: In measurable proportions of mass, density and volumetric surface area, my brain and encephalization ratio of body mass to grey matter exceeds your own. This attribute is due exclusively to a combination of being a human male capable of logic, early hominid neo-neander European genetic influence, staggering non-Frenchness and an upper-middle class upbringing in the best country currently in existence.

2) My penis is larger than your penis: My reproductive organ's respective length, circumference and mass is immeasurably large. I had/have more prospective mates and current romantic interests than yourself, and they have been of a superior quality, and liked me more than they would have if you were me.

3) Videogames are not real: Latticed or Liquid Crystal Display monitors that arrange pixels processed by a graphical processing unit and a corresponding Scott central processing unit coreographed through various matrices and algorithims to create realistic, and life like experiences that consist of polygons and textures, are in fact, not real. Videogames or VGs as they are called, are not real, if you ever find yourself upset, bewildered, flustered or hornswaggled over a VG, just remember, I am better than you at said videogame, and even if I wasn't, it doesn't matter ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

In conclusion, I hope the eyes and respective brain that is processing these words in the most likely mallocluded and French skull is capable of reaching this simple and obvious fact:

I am better than you in every conceivable way. At Videogames, at real life, it makes no difference my existence is a superior one in every facet of life's experience.

What you can do:

1) Take notes! Just because you will never be as smart, talented, or non-French as myself doesn't mean you shouldn't try!

2) Kill yourself you monumental ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥: No one has cared, is going to care, or plans on caring in the vast and static universal sea known as time. In the words of Shakespeare: "Spectate me and take notes you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dweebs."

Counterstrike is not real, its only pixels on your computer screen. I have been to global 6 times on 3 different accounts. The game is so ez I 1v5 carry every game. Play a big boy non-loser game like quake or unreal tournament where the playerbase isn't a bunch of autistic man children crying about "muh community". P.S. there's no " community" just a bunch of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in their parents house bedroom playing online toys made for little kiddies. Nothing makes me happier than tking and deranking in supreme comp matches while u cry like a baby over your make believe pixelated rank. Get a job, go to the gym and get a girlfriend- It's not real

Another fact about me is:

I can lift a fully grown horse above my head, and i can hold my breath for ten minutes. to settle a wager, i once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude.i cannot feel pain, and i can see for two miles unaided by a lens. no man can kill me. i have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a turk, a pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that i have no soul.