Tonight on FOX News we are reporting about a reported survivor rescued from the sunken Titanic. Last Friday night, strange sounds were coming from underneath the Atlantis Ocean. Locals reported it to be the ghost of Leonardo DiCaprio rising from his icy grave to practice for the Olympics. Meteorologists thought that it was caused by global warming and the inevitable death of the universe manifesting itself into a hate-filled vessel of destruction. The next business day, a Nintendo 3DS XL™ had connected to the Animal Crossing: New Leaf servers. Rescue boats were sent out to this remote location, and aided by dolphins and giant sea squids, they had successfully retrieved the young, starving boy. Not much is known on who this mysterious individual is or how they managed to survive this long. Upon being questioned by Interpol, the boy had this to say, "Yeah, I'm a GAMER".