Despite all my rage, I am still just a pig in a cage... on antibiotics.



So you want to hear my story? Well here it is...

I was once trapped in a box by a cockney nut job who told me to have a cup of tea.
"Ave a cuppa tea" He exclaimed. "I'm The Hitcher, let me put you in the picture"

The HItcher tells me hes going to be creeping in my room in the dead of night with his solo polo vision, thats right.
"I'm a cockney geeza" He felt the need to inform me.
"Watch me bleed ya."
He speaks of an interesting fact, that he knew the Ripper when he was just a nipper. How crazy is that?! He says he taught him how to slice, and then he cut him up a treat.
He has a fantastic deal on bananas. Only £1, or £2 a pair depending how you feel. Another great deal he has are melons for 40 shillings each, oh yes indeed.

He has two friends called the Piper twins, Jim and Jackie Piper. They tell me they are cutting through the night like a windscreen, wiping you away like rain drops.
"Don't mess with the boys" Yell the Piper twins
"Shut your noise" Responds The Hitcher as he starts coming in strong like a freak show nightmare. He tells me tales of dancing skeletons, white, blue and yellow ones, all the while he starts moving through the shadows with the speed of a cat.
"And if you cross us, we'll cut ya .You ain't gonna like that" They all yell at me, as if to intimidate me.

He tells me that he is bad juju and will use voodoo if he chooses to.
"I harness the forces of evil to abuse you. A power, a polo, an evil magnet" The Hitcher creeps closer as the lid of the box slowly begins to close. With the sounds of the metal latch clasping together I hear the final words as he begins sucking up my soul...

"You ain't gonna like that"