Daggert [AW]'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:18pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:26pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:47pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 2:48pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 1:01pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2019 @ 4:29pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 3:06pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 6:59pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 1 Mar, 2019 @ 9:42pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2019 @ 2:04pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2020 @ 1:38pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 3:28pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2019 @ 3:47pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2019 @ 2:34pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2019 @ 12:39pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:48pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2019 @ 1:55pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2020 @ 4:48pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 4:39pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2019 @ 1:59pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2019 @ 3:56pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2019 @ 9:10am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2020 @ 5:50pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:26pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2019 @ 3:30pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 7:17pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2019 @ 3:30pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2019 @ 2:45pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:39pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2019 @ 4:32pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 5:07pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:41pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2019 @ 3:18pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2019 @ 2:49pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2022 @ 10:10pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Mar, 2019 @ 2:30am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2022 @ 9:58pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 3:08pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 1:28pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2020 @ 7:09pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2020 @ 2:44pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2020 @ 6:06pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2020 @ 4:45pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 31 Jan, 2020 @ 6:30pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2019 @ 9:16am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2022 @ 5:06pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

21 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

2 / 10

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

4 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

13 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

570 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

16 / 30