Steam lets me use an awful lot of these showcases, and I have ran out of the ones that matter to me. So here's a waste of space and your time, if you're reading this. May it be equal to the amount of time I wasted typing out this stupid diatribe on a info box buried beneath an ocean of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that I thought was worthy enough to put in 'showcases' but I guess that's neither here nor there, really.



Is there a word limit to this thing? How long can I keep this going? Maybe I'll add to this over time and see what's happening every so often. Maybe you can keep up with this, too. If you want, if Steam let's us. Until we find that word limit, and until next time.

5/21/21
Got the idea to start dating this, despite my lack of entries here anyway. Figured If I did share something noteworthy I might also like to know where I was mentally at that time, maybe could help in a dreary time in the future. New kitty Lilly is fixed, hoping for her acclimation into my cat family without too much issue. Hoping for the best, hope anyone who's reading this also has the best turn outs for whatever situation you may find yourself in today. Just remember there is always tomorrow. Well, until there isn't. Try not to think about it, and take care.

6/13/22
Another check in! Who would have thought it? More than a year later, at that. So much has happened, Lilly is a part of the family, life isn't the worst. Things are looking up and I just need to maintain that forward momentum. Starting to seem like the world is becoming a little more lonely as days go forward, people go on with their lives and you watch things unfold around you, and yet nothing happens in your own. Just more small things I can call victories to take the reality of the world out of my sight. Life is good, but I don't know where it's going. Or where it's supposed to even go in the first place. I don't know, I try to cover it with colorful metaphors and euphemisms to hide what it is but I know it doesn't work. Just wish I had some sort of guiding sign right now because at the moment I just feel like I'm wandering aimlessly while the rest of the world is finding its own place around me. I feel like a puzzle piece trying to fit into not only the wrong spot, but the wrong puzzle entirely. Guess I'll keep looking, something has to give sometime. Hopefully. Stay safe and stay healthy, hope life guides you where you need to go, too.

8/23/23
It's hard to find the words to start this entry. The amount of time that has passed between this and the last update has been more than a year. I lost my soul-cat Brandy, and life is an entirely different beast than what I've wrestled with in the past. I feel like I'm aimlessly wandering through life with an ever-present fog-of-war around me, unsure if the next step is going to put me into a hole that I can't climb out of. You can never really over-appreciate such fine moments until they aren't there to have anymore, even with the knowledge of hindsight. Part of being human, I guess. I don't know why I made this entry, grieving or a cry out into this void for something, I don't know. I just know that this isn't the same life I had before 7/17/23. It's difficult. But I will keep trying, for her, and for you. Until my next inevitable update, please, take care of yourself. Life is fleeting, and those precious moments even more-so. So do your best to take in every micro-second you may be offered. And until then, please, stay safe, stay healthy, and know we walk this path together.

10/2/23
Didn’t expect to update again so soon. Didn’t want to. Things are bad. My grandmas old boy Stranger passed 9/17, 2 months to the day of the passing of my Brandy. Drinking too much, isolating as hard as I can with no regard. Talking to myself on a steam diary. Ain’t this life grand!

4/6/24
I'm sad. It hasn't ever stopped getting worse, and anymore I can feel it taking away from me physically. I'm always angry, I always want to cry. I have no purpose, all I do is work my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead end job and that's it. I don't get to go out with friends, no one wants to be near me. The way people look at me I can see I'm just some grotesque, unwantable piece of trash. Nothing more than that person behind the counter at work, and barely even that. I'm basically nothing, less than a footnote on other peoples much more fulfilling, worthwhile lives. I just want to be happy too. I want to be dead I think. I am heartbroken that I am what I am and I don't want this for me, but it seems to be what I deserve. Someday this sad and pitiful Steam diary will be all thats left of me and my legacy of a failed life.