Scrux's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 10:14pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2017 @ 4:33pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2017 @ 4:35pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2017 @ 1:40pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2017 @ 2:24pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2017 @ 2:27pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2017 @ 4:28pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2017 @ 1:17pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2017 @ 1:00pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2017 @ 4:06pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Sep, 2017 @ 5:42pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2021 @ 3:56pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 2:42pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 17 Oct, 2019 @ 2:23pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2017 @ 2:52pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2019 @ 10:04pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 7:00pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2021 @ 2:20am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 12 Oct, 2019 @ 6:07pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 9 Jul, 2017 @ 2:21pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 7:17pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2017 @ 1:00pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2017 @ 2:34pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2017 @ 1:00pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2021 @ 12:00am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 7:36pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2017 @ 3:51pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2017 @ 1:00pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 3:30pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 11:54am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2019 @ 10:11pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2021 @ 2:59pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2017 @ 2:26pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Jul, 2017 @ 2:29pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 5 Jul, 2017 @ 7:07pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2017 @ 10:13pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2017 @ 3:20pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2017 @ 1:34pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2020 @ 1:53am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2017 @ 5:50pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2021 @ 12:33am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2017 @ 2:59pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 23 Jul, 2017 @ 4:05pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 12 Oct, 2019 @ 6:10pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2019 @ 6:18am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 22 Jul, 2021 @ 1:49pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2021 @ 3:57pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2019 @ 9:31pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 17 Oct, 2019 @ 3:14pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 12:11pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 6:18pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2021 @ 11:12pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2021 @ 11:12pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2021 @ 2:31am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 11:34am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2021 @ 5:05pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2019 @ 1:22am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2019 @ 5:51pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 1 Aug, 2017 @ 2:14pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 12 Oct, 2019 @ 5:51pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

24 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

15 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

16 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

6 / 30