Steam Community :: Sammy :: Review for Risk of Rain 2

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18 people found this review helpful
16 people found this review funny

Recommended

0.0 hrs last two weeks / 150.2 hrs on record (88.0 hrs at review time)

Posted: 5 Nov, 2021 @ 3:45pm

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Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Artificer so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I land on Distant Roost or Titanic Plains and get out of the Escape Pod I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Artificer. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Artificer's tight Mage Pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/robot babies. I want her to use Flamethrower on my balls then Snapfreeze my cock off, I want her to Ion Surge with max movement speed, of course hitting the sky box and being teleported back to the ground several times then use H3AD-5T v2 directly onto my balls, which are still scorched from her Flamethrower. I have been making Artificer builds for centuries, Tankificer, Shaped Assificer, Shieldificer, Rusted Key Frost Relic Artificer, Vision of Heresy Procificer, Mired Urn Suckificer, Mask with a smile for hoursificer. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me making shit artificer builds. I'd dressed up in my Artificer cosplay with a built in dick crusher, she screamed thinking I was an intruder and screamed, my dad then walked in with a handgun, I started frothing and foaming at the mouth as I remembered Commando, the sheer thought of scaling was vile enough. I rushed at him and was immediately shot, Critical hit, I screamed in agony, not because I was shot, but because he got a 1% crit, he didn't even have any glasses wtf. I wake up at the pearly white gates of heaven, my eyes adjust and I see it, Artificers, beautiful creatures float across the land, I shed a tear as I found it, heaven.

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