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I can do over 100 push ups in under 26 minutes and I'll crush your weak and pathetic head by running it between my thumb and my index finger, you fat pathetic wretch. My brain is capable of solving multiple math problems at once and I've solved numerous crosswords.
But you'll know I'm a true alpha male because of my headsets and my cool shirt. If you aren't wearing rugby shirts your a total ♥♥♥♥♥ and my boys won't hesitate to groupkick your ass and stomp you like the weak trash you are.