“I was tired of the sun and wanted rain, so I thought the best way to do that was to make god cry” -KillianExperiance

“Maybe in another life I will be a cute animu girl, For now I will sleep and hope to die UwU”- Flanerry

"All marriage is gay so we should ban marriage" –Jreg

“my uncle touched me and the worst part, is that he was a filthy catbeast and said &#39nyaaan ~owo~ what big ballsie wallsies you have&#39” –Universal Recorder

“They will soon find out that my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is a guillotine of ♥♥♥♥ destruction”- Unknown

“Watching other people get hit by cars in a playground under the watchful eye of a thousand school children to an over dramatic soundtrack”- Chris Broad

“Got another little girl in my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wheelchair.” -J.C

“I’m god nobody ♥♥♥♥♥ with god. I can’t wait for school tomorrow.” -Sam Hyde

“You're attracted to women? You realize they're just rays of light reflected into your eyes...”-demigodofmadness

“♥♥♥♥ them while their warm. My uncle taunt me that one.” - Ketsianto

“It is a beautiful moment when a white man and a black man can commit a hate crime together.” – Bert Kreisher

“Oh my god you’re so bad can I poop in your butt.”- Rhino

“I have never experienced much positive emotion since the big accident, being conceived.” - Casually Explained

“You give a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a calculator and they will try and turn a tv on with it.” - Someone

“Do you think that the ghost of a boy that was murdered by a Native American with a rake haunts your house or do you deny the holocaust?” - Door Monster

“I like my wine like my woman, 12 years old and locked in my basement.” – Unknown

"I was personally mentioned in my kindergarten teacher's suicide note" – conner4real

"If I did something racist it wasn't because you are white" -Dan

"Israel is not in the United States" - Dan

"Let's make some strategies, first off I see your ninja monkey does not look like other ninja monkeys. What's up with that?"- Dan

"Mostly from the fat around my heart" - Dan

"I'm offensive and creative like handicapped porn" - Bo Burnham

"I spit bars because I was molested by my uncle Midas" - Bo Burnham

"Oedipus was the first mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥" - Bo Burnham

"My ex has this weird fetish where she would dress up as herself and act like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ all the time" - Bo Burnham

"And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to ♥♥♥♥ me" - Bo Burnham

“In a better timeline I manage to go my whole life without ever seeing this.” -You