The State of Florida has asked us to
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
we were bad, nut now we’re good
we’re moving into your neighborhood

You know we’re trying our best to be
Functioning member of society
We’re not here to start trouble
We’re legally required to do the “Sex Offender Shuffle”

I’m Larry Arthauer and i’ll refrain
from touching my neighbours kid’s again
What i did was not to kind
but i’m a nice guy, you’ll come to find

I’ve got a backyard and a real nice pool
y’all should come over for a BBQ
We could make some cold drinks in my blender
But do keep in mind im a sex offender

Vernon Douglas is my name
my battery arrest is what bought me fame
But there’s much more to know about me
I love to dance, and i love to ski

I zip and zoom through the snow
just strap on my boots and watch me go
But i can’t ski until december
so then im just a sex offender

I’m charles dolling, dropping rhymes
I’ve been arrested 7 times
I know that sounds like alot
but 3 of those times were for vandalism

I feel real bad, i got caught
i might do it again, probably not
im not here to make pretenses
im here ‘cos of my sex offenses

I’m Sam pound, number 1
apologizing for what i’ve done
case you’re wondering what that was

i snuck into a bath room and *cuts off*
*blarghs back in*eats those truffles
im here to do the sex offender shuffle

*Sax solo*

Hey everybody i’m laura hughes
proving that girls can do it too
and by it i mean touch your cousin
was it worth it? no it wasn’t

you wont find me in your child’s play sack(?)
‘cos i’ve gotta wear this anckle bracelet
Im not here to go on a bender
I’m here because im a sex offender

Last name burmholdt, first name marc
i’m moving in somewhere on your block
not in a house, but in a van

if you need me to move it, i sure can
the last thing i want is any trouble
i’ve learnt my lesson from the sex offender shuffle

I’m the one they call authur chase
they said i didn’t have to show my face
my first trial ended in a hung jury
if i’m found guilty tey’ll unblur me

I’m not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase,
thats a different Arthur Chase
I’m not here to be my own defender
I’m here because i’m possibly a sex offender

Okay real quick i don’t like these people,
okay this is an extortion plot by my wife
who’s the only witness and she’s trying to take away my kids
and if *shotgun cocking*

I’m not here to pack my duffle,
I’m here to do the sex offender shuffle

The State of Florida has asked us to
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
we were bad, nut now we’re good
we’re moving into your neighborhood

We’re obliged to admit
the crimes of which we were convicted
We’re not here to start trouble
We’re legally required to do the “Sex Offender Shuffle”