Hey, you, looking at the screen! Let me ask you a question.
Do you like awesome things that are AWESOME?
Then you gotta play this game dude.
It's friggin cool and crazy addictive, like popping bubble wrap addictive! Check this out.
See that's your dash move. There's a short dash, long dash, jump dash, spiral, slide, there's probably a dash that makes you breakfast I DUNNO!

"Great ide....wait what?!"

Point is, you’re dashing around like a frigging moon man and I love it!
Oh, and look at this, there's all these combo moves you can do then you can do combos ON combos to rack up your score, and I know you like that combo on combo action.
But I saved the best for last....absorption boost!
You kill an enemy and you can absorb their powerups, stuff that'll make you faster, and stronger!
And make the bad guys cry like an anime fan on prom night!
So what do you think, you ready to play?

"I'm ready!"

NO ONE'S TALKING TO YOU VERNON!!

Hey, you, looking at the screen! Let me ask you a question. Do you like awesome things that are AWESOME? Then you gotta play this game dude. It's friggin cool and crazy addictive, like popping bubble wrap addictive! Check this out. See that's your dash move. There's a short dash, long dash, jump dash, spiral, slide, there's probably a dash that makes you breakfast I DUNNO! "Great ide....wait what?!" Point is, you’re dashing around like a frigging moon man and I love it! Oh, and look at this, there's all these combo moves you can do then you can do combos ON combos to rack up your score, and I know you like that combo on combo action. But I saved the best for last....absorption boost! You kill an enemy and you can absorb their powerups, stuff that'll make you faster, and stronger! And make the bad guys cry like an anime fan on prom night! So what do you think, you ready to play? "I'm ready!" NO ONE'S TALKING TO YOU VERNON!!