goth (real)'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 2:07pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 2:35pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 9:27am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 9:49am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 2:58pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 9:17am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2021 @ 12:11pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2021 @ 3:04pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2021 @ 11:46am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2021 @ 9:56am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2021 @ 9:56am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 11:49am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2021 @ 12:34pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 10:55am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 11 Oct, 2021 @ 12:30pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 Oct, 2021 @ 6:37am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2021 @ 2:42pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 11:39am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 3:15pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 9:48am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2021 @ 12:18pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2021 @ 11:09am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2021 @ 3:36pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2021 @ 9:56am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 9:27am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 10:52am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 8 Oct, 2021 @ 12:18pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2021 @ 5:59pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 11:52am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 2:10pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 3:04pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 8:25am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 2:11pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 2:04pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Sep, 2021 @ 3:03pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 11:52am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2021 @ 3:12pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 3 Oct, 2021 @ 5:07am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 10 Oct, 2021 @ 3:35pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 3 Oct, 2021 @ 5:20am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 13 Oct, 2021 @ 9:56am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2021 @ 4:29pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2021 @ 5:11pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 1:04pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2021 @ 2:48pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2021 @ 12:01pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 19 Oct, 2021 @ 3:51pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 20 Oct, 2021 @ 6:00pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2021 @ 12:56pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2021 @ 11:38am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 9 Oct, 2021 @ 10:39am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 2 Oct, 2021 @ 8:46am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

15 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

12 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

10 / 30

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

8 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

13 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

6 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

13 / 30