Ronnie James Dio may have been born last in line but that didnt stop him from becoming the holy diver of metal and shining like a rainbow in the dark. His music made people stand up and shout as it weant straight through the heart of his rock and roll children. Lock up the wolves, strange highways, hungry for heaven, man on a silver mountian, shame on the night, dream evil. Enough with the song references. When Dio was young growing up in the ghettos of hell (not as bad as detroit) he heard metal for the first and ironically described it as angelic. However he could not find a way to get to the surface of earth to make his own metal that would shape generations of music to come. But when he found out his last name Dio means holy stromboli in italian he felt compelled to live up to his name and its orgins for to have earned the name holy stromboli his ancestor must have accomplished some amazing feat (guy ate the only stromboli in hell( Ronnie was dissapointed to find out his names origin). So Dio challenged satan to a rock off unfortunately he was busy so he had go against his daughter, towards the end Ronnie realized he was losing the fight and threw his guitar at her at wich point her tooth fell out Dio grabbed it and dove up to earth (holy diver)(also totally didnt rip off of tenacious D) no one knew how he dove upward but he did it. Upon arriving on earth mecha Jesus gave Dio the ability resonate kick ass music through all who performed alongisde him, this was a gift for besting satans daughter (mecha Jesus's ex girlfriend/cousin). DIo then dedicated his life to his music making 3 billion songs on 9 billion albums with 90 bagillion record sales (according to forbes) and changing rock n roll and metal forever. When Dio died at the age of infinitti the sky gods began creating more lightning in his honor and civil unrest around the world rose 50000000000000% because of a lack of Dio, Also the first chirch of dio was founded in Mecca and all of the islamic inhabitants have since converted to Dioism the only true religion of the one true god. And according to some sources there is now an extra realm added onto the whole heaven and hell thing called metalhalla which is a refuge in the afterlife for all metalheads except for emos because noone understands them.


This concludes my article on the holy diver/holy stromboli Ronnie James Dio.
Long live DIo.