WELCOME CRUSADER OF THE INTERNETS!

Only those deemed worthy by the might of the gg shall be granted entry into this super elite and megalethal band of digital gladiators.

Those who have either passed the Trial of a Thousand Sorrows, defeated Maximus Decimus Veridius in the Collesuem, or beat all the portal advanced puzzles are granted immediate membership upon request.

Everyone else has to complete the following tasks... IN THIS ORDER:
1. Kill the helicopter in Half-Life 2: Lost Coast with only the harpoon from the dock.
2. Tame a rabid bat.
3. Masterbate for a day.
4. Defeat me in an arm wrestling match, after washing your hands... That ♥♥♥♥'s gross.
5. Fix the economy.
6. Show me how to beat that puzzle in Braid I'm stuck on.
7. Get me a beta of Diablo 3
8. Submit an application for ggbemystength to my secretary... you may know him as the President of the United States of America.

And after completing those eight simple steps, your candidacy portfolio will be reviewed for quality assurance. I strongly encourage you to either beat Nethergate as the Romans, or bone up on your Soulblighter skills, because your application will need to be finalized with gaming that tests the processing power of a nineties macintosh.

We look forward to hearing from you. Have a nice day.

ibangedyourmom[andyoursistertoo.com]
ihopeadogeatsyourpenis[butnotbeforegivingyoutetnis.net]