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This is Child Protective Services and we are here to help.
Usually we recommend children your age stay away from the booze, but in your case, all of our evidence tells us that you better start drinking asap to raise your tolerance. Otherwise, you might get too fucked up and get some STDs from the hookers.
Love,
Pot of Greed
1st Place at NetWar 34.0 Omaha, NE