Dear Clam Slammers...

I write to you bearing bad news. The members of the Clam Slammers executive team have recently commissioned the University of Melbourne to conduct an experimental research study, with the ultimate goal of determining the viability of clam slamming in the near future and beyond. The results of this study are devastating to our team, as they indicate that there are fewer than fifteen clams remaining to be slammed globally, and we simply do not have labour force to locate and slam these clams.

Thus, effective immediately, the clam slammers will be dissolved, and all members will be promptly executed as to not reveal proprietary and sensitive knowledge concerning previous clams that have been slammed.
You may be foolish enough to think that this announcement has provided you with adequate warning to escape your execution, but you are wrong... no one can run from the clam slammers executive team.

Anyways, ♥♥♥♥ you

bye.

guys, we officially hate the chaps, make sure to add the chaps and voice your hate

Greetings Clam Slammers!

Great news! We have officially received word from the 420 blaze rek mountain jew society (or 4BRMJS for short) that they are going to sponsor the clam slammers.

You should all be very excited, as this sponsorship will bring about all kinds of 420 reking materials to utilize in your gaming.

That's all, and keep slammin clams ya ♥♥♥♥♥♥ spackards