Greetings you filthy Dildo users and genital abusers

Just a quickie from your friendly neighbourhood sales rep.

After a number of sensitive issues and court proceeding over our infamous
'John (walk like) Wayne' 14" long and 6" circumference dildo and a half,
We here at Bilbo`s Dildos must stress that all our products must be used with care and caution!

For instance a Mr X from Tallahassee,Florida decided to use his sexual appliance under water - LIKE A SCHMUCK - and .....it didn`t end well people. Let`s just say he is now 2 olives short of a Martini .

The moral of the story is just because we put a 'WATER-PROOF' sticker on some of our products,it doesn`t necessarily mean then are actually water proof.
DON`T TAKE THINGS SO LITERALLY - they`re just metaphors at best.

Basically please look out for our new regulatory CTT (Cherrie tried & tested) and BBB (Bilbo based brilliance) - these products work to optimum standards and are guaranteed for 3 hours!

And last but not least all Bilbo`s Dildos virtuosos are entitled to 25% off their next purchases! Please quote the following reference at the check out ***

'BUKKAKERUINEDMYCARPETS'

*** Offer valid until June 26th 2011. Only one voucher per purchase/customer.

From the creative mind of everyones favourite wizard smackhead comes this creation. I don't know how he came up with this but that paint thinner takes him beyond the clouds and somewhere far off. Enjoy!

http://gtm.you1.cn/storesteam/app/95700/?snr=1_200_200_253_13

An amazing look in to the life of Ayesha Mohan - A Bilbo`s Dildo enthusiast from India
as she experiences the trials and tribulations of her beloved.

Please correct me if I`m wrong Bilbo,but I do believe the dildo featured here is

The Elephant Man model #069
Available in Necrophiliac Grey, Virgin Pink and Bruised Blue.
RRP : £45 - Bilbo`s Price £70


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwvzWbBfQe8

Now we all know that recycling is good for the planet and reduces the waste output. I have been thinking about this and have decided to implement a new idea for the business. That's right you guessed it. Recycle your used Dildos & other "Items" of discreet pleasure! So please send in your used Dildos (wash them first for goodness sake, not naming any names) and then i will have them polished and made to look new again so someone else can purchase the dildo at the same price as a new one i mean at a reduced price and have many hours of fun. A dildo can be used for many things, i won't go into detail but put a little hat on top and some glasses and you have a new vibrating friend! Send in your items now to recieve the official Bilbo's Dildos wrist watch with little dildos as the hands of the clock! Also send £50 or $50 along with your item and you could be in with a chance of winning the official Bilbo's Dildos Gardening set! A must have!

That's right folks everyone's favourite Sex shop Hobbit is expanding the business! It feels like only yesterday i was taking the motors out of old electric toothbrushes and sticking them in pringles tubes and trying to pass them off as vibrators! Once they popped they couldn't stop ;) How times have changed and now the business is doing better than ever. I've set up branches all over Middle-earth but now its time to expand over into this world. That's right i've used a vast sum of the companies money to set up branches all over the world! Ganjagates is in charge of the Hungary branch and i've sent stock to him already. Now i need volunteers for other countries around the world! So if you feel up to it comment on this post and say which countries branch you would like to work in and why i should pick you! It is minimum wage so no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ people!