Remember, it will vibrate but it won't make you irate!

Need a vibrator in a hurry? Your old dildos got you down? Then drop ol' Bilbo a message and make your order today! This week 25% off and free nipple clamps!

Heres a link to my partner company who provides me with my stock! See anything you like let ol' Bilbo know!
http://www.bondara.co.uk/dildos/?gclid=COaeweT-36gCFchO4Qodj3rjAQ

TESTOMONIALS

Here is just a selection of what some very pleased customers had to say!

Gimli - "After years of searching for a dildo that could satisfy this hardcore dwarf i finally found this hearty 20 inch vibrator that literally split me in two! Also it is so bendy i can hide it in my beard!"

Sam Gamgee - "After being on the road so long with Mr.Frodo its hard to keep things spicy, if you take my meaning! So after jumping online i got us some nipple tassels and some bondage rope and now me and Mr Frodo can't stop fingering each others rings ;) Thank Mr Bilbo!"

Gollum - "Yes precious very goods dildoses, YESSSSSSSSSSS! I can't get enoughses!"

Cherry Chopper - Before I was hired by The Man The Legend that is Bilbo - his dildos changed my life! Where Oprah,Doctor Phil,Bill Cosby and Gandhi had failed, Bilbo`s Dildos electro-shocked me back in to coherence. Thanks Bilbo I`d surely be dead with out your help x

Gandalf - "It took three paramedics four hours to get that damn thing out of me! These dildos should come with a warning or a string so i can pull it back out! AVOID!"

Ignore that last one Gandalf is just an attention seeker.

Bilbo's Dildos was founded by me Bilbo back in the Shire and was a small business down on its luck but since then we have expanded all over Middle-Earth! Now we're one of the leading sex shop companies in the world and have some very satisfied customers if you take my meaning ;)

We operate a 5 day return policy but please clean it before you send it back! We have never had a return on any product! Thats how pleased our customers are!

For any enquiries please post a comment on the group page and i will get back to you when i can.

Any fan mail or requests for marriage (i get quite a few, i'm a popular Hobbit) please send to

Bilbo's Dildos Inc
Bag End
Bagshot row
The Shire
Middle Earth

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POPULAR DISCUSSIONS

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RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS

New stickers for a better masturbatory experience !!

22 June, 2011 - Methadone Kitty | 4 Comments

Greetings you filthy Dildo users and genital abusers

Just a quickie from your friendly neighbourhood sales rep.

After a number of sensitive issues and court proceeding over our infamous
'John (walk like) Wayne' 14" long and 6" circumference dildo and a half,
We here at Bilbo`s Dildos must stress that all our products must be used with care and caution!

For instance a Mr X from Tallahassee,Florida decided to use his sexual appliance under water - LIKE A SCHMUCK - and .....it didn`t end well people. Let`s just say he is now 2 olives short of a Martini .

The moral of the story is just because we put a 'WATER-PROOF' sticker on some of our products,it doesn`t necessarily mean then are actually water proof.
DON`T TAKE THINGS SO LITERALLY - they`re just metaphors at best.

Basically please look out for our new regulatory CTT (Cherrie tried & tested) and BBB (Bilbo based brilliance) - these products work to optimum standards and are guaranteed for 3 hours!

And last but not least all Bilbo`s Dildos virtuosos are entitled to 25% off their next purchases! Please quote the following reference at the check out ***

'BUKKAKERUINEDMYCARPETS'

*** Offer valid until June 26th 2011. Only one voucher per purchase/customer.

Look what Gandalf can do whilst high on paint thinner

19 June, 2011 - Bootbrush | 2 Comments

From the creative mind of everyones favourite wizard smackhead comes this creation. I don't know how he came up with this but that paint thinner takes him beyond the clouds and somewhere far off. Enjoy!

http://gtm.you1.cn/storesteam/app/95700/?snr=1_200_200_253_13