Artificial Flavors

Once upon a time, in the magical land of The Internet, there were three zany friends who gamed together, and created laughter for all the people. To do this, the brown haired one used his computer powers to create servers; the blonde haired brought out the jokes to begin the night. Thus, the two friends created a network of enjoyment for the people, with all the different types of games. But as time went on, the bearded friend became resentful. The other friends relished and played at connection speeds around 45 Mbs, but shunned and played singleplayer through his painful 45 Kbs speeds. One fateful day, the bearded one refused to get online for a game of Civilization V. The other friends tried to reason with him, but the internet speeds in the bearded one's house had transformed him into a wicked man of fustration: 1-Bar Kyle!
[Lightning Crack]
He vowed that he wouldn't buy another game until he purchased the best edition of Destiny. Reluctantly, the bearded friend harnessed the most powerful conection speeds he could get: The Elements of 1 Mbs. Using the magic of The Elements of 1 Mbs, the beared friend joined the other two friends, and defeated the evil Gandhi. The brown haired one then took on responsibility for running a Steam group, and it has been running ever since.

Bearded One
Blonde One
Brown Haired One