When's the last time you played a game that you liked but regretted buying? This game is one of those for me. It's not bad, the graphics are fun and the game play is alright, but the level design is so wackadoodle and garbage that it makes me regret some of my life decisions. I originally bought this after discovering it had received a limited edition release from EastAsiaSoft that I had missed, since I collect all of those as a result of my weebiest tendencies.

Just keep grinding all of the power-ups by playing the first level over and over and over and over again until the following levels become unfairly hard simply due to the completely crap level design. You'll keep playing, but you won't feel great about it.

The game turns the traditional save-the-princess story line on its head, since you're actually saving a man in this one. Oh, how clever, who could have ever thought of such a creative and interesting idea? A man being pursued by about a dozen evil man-stealing hoes. You see, Mia realizes early on that these hoes ain't loyal, and that she must defeat each one by ripping tails off, ripping wings off, choking, snapping necks, etc., in order to hold onto her 2-digit IQ having turd farmer. You'd seriously think this guy dispenses pumpkin spice lattes and Love Pink hoodies from his nipples in late September the way he's being chased by this cavalcade of basic anime hoes.

It's alright, it's cheap, it's fun, but it isn't the greatest new retro gameplay experience you want it to be. Know what, though? I bet it tides me over a little longer for UFO 50.

6/10