♥♥♥♥ EA and their ♥♥♥♥♥♥ launcher they force onto every game. The launcher is a worthless waste of hard drive space and probably stealing my data for profit.

As someone who’s played through the trilogy about 115 times (yes, I counted), I can confidently say this remastered collection is the love letter to fans that we’ve been waiting for. It’s like slipping back into the most comfortable N7 armor imaginable. The upgraded visuals, smoother controls, and all the DLC packed in—it’s chef’s kiss.

Whether it’s your first run or your fifteenth (or 115th, no judgment here), stepping back into Shepard’s boots feels like coming home. And if you’re not playing as FemShep, you’re seriously missing out. Jennifer Hale’s voice acting is so damn good, it could convince a Reaper to rethink its whole galaxy-ending plan. Sorry, but my Shepard will always be the badass red-headed soldier who can charm or intimidate her way through any situation.

Now, let’s get into the juicy bits: the romances. My Shepard is practically married to Miranda Lawson at this point. I’d love to romance someone new in Mass Effect 3, but honestly, I just don’t have the heart to break up with her after everything we went through in ME2. If you think surviving the Suicide Mission is tough, try breaking Miranda’s heart—it’s one challenge even Renegade Shep can’t handle. And for my fellow FemSheps, the bathtub scene with Samantha Traynor? Totally worth every flirt option. Nothing like a little R&R on the Normandy, am I right?

And then there’s Tali. That moment she pulls out her “emergency induction port” (a.k.a. a straw) to sip juice through her helmet? Absolute legend. Every playthrough, I still crack up.

And my baby Grunt—love that big, violent son of a tank-bred krogan, but let’s just say I’m never letting him near alcohol again. If you’ve seen him on a bender in Citadel DLC, you know why. One time was enough.

And yes, I’ll admit it: I always save Ashley and let Kaidan take one for the team on Virmire. Sorry, Kaidan fans, but space racism aside, Ashley’s got that spicy attitude I just can’t resist. Death to Kaidan, long live the Gunnery Chief!

When it comes to gameplay, I always roll with the Engineer class. Why? Because it’s the only way to avoid the endless door bypass puzzles in ME2. Trust me, if I never have to align another circuit or hack a node again, it'll be too soon. Plus, you get that special cutscene with Aria on Omega where she actually acknowledges your tech skills—it’s a small nod, but it’s worth it just to see her show a shred of respect.

The changes are especially welcome in Mass Effect 1. The Mako, bless its heart, finally drives like a real vehicle instead of a soap bar sliding across a tile floor. And thank the stars for those faster elevator rides on the Citadel—no more five-minute pauses where I contemplate the meaning of life while waiting to reach the Presidium. And if you're going for that insanity difficulty achievement, just remember: biotics are your best friend, especially if you're playing as a Vanguard. Nothing beats the rush of charging straight into a group of enemies and blasting them away.

I’ve already mapped out my next playthrough: full Paragon, male Shepard, romancing Liara, because that’s the OG experience. But let’s be honest, we all secretly have a save where we let the galaxy burn just to see the chaos.

So, if you’ve ever wanted to explore the far reaches of space, form deep friendships (and maybe something more) with aliens, and make some of the toughest moral decisions in gaming, this is your chance. Just don’t forget to feed your fish between missions, and whatever you do, don’t trust the Illusive Man—he’s always got something up his sleeve.

Mass Effect is more than just a game; it’s a journey. And I, for one, am ready to take that journey all over again.

MASS EFFECT TRILOGY IS FOR THE BOOKS