Garry's Mod

Garry's Mod

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How to avoid being shanked by your milk
By Whiskey
This guide is to inform people about the dangers of milk. Milk can be very deadly if you're not careful. As a professional Gopnik Prop Behaviour Specialist, I know all there is to know about milk
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Overview
Very recently I was getting some food out of my fridge when one of my milk cartons attempted to shank me. Luckly enough, I was wearing my Soviet Gopnik Tracksuit which kept me alive. I'm creating this guide to warn people about the dangers of the milk they might have in their fridges


Threat
To avoid getting shanked, don't make the milk feel like it's in danger. Carefully remove what item you need from the fridge so the milk won't see you as a threat. If you have large groups of milk in one area, DO NOT APRROACH THEM!! Large milk groups are EXTREMELY dangerous and they can seriously injure or kill.

Arming yourself
Be armed and ready. You never know when the milk will attack and it helps to be prepared. Have a gun or knife in your hand so the milk knows you're ready for it if it attacks. The bigger the gun or sharper the knife, the better




Keeping your milk happy
Keep the milk happy. Milk is like a girlfriend, if they're not happy, they're more likely to attack. To keep your milk happy, keep the milk that you think is more likely to attack at the back of the fridge, this way it's colder. Alternitavely, you can always keep all of your milk together (but not in big groups, this is how you'll be killed).


Conclusion
Hopefully you are fully aware of the dangers of milk. Usually milk isn't hostile, but in the case that it is, follow any of these steps.
502 Comments
Da_Lewis 15 Aug, 2022 @ 5:43am 
20/10 this has helped me be able to survive this sertain sercomstance in which my milk is shanking me
Happi Nutt 17 Jul, 2022 @ 3:20am 
true!:melon:
TriggeredCanadian 6 May, 2020 @ 4:55pm 
this is my favorite guide, please don't ever let it be forgotten or taken down (it was before)
PortalToTheBestGame 4 Apr, 2020 @ 6:29pm 
i don't understand what this guied even is
Spyro Da Dragon 8 Jan, 2020 @ 12:05am 
i just drink it from the bottle. :winter2019sadbulb:
BreadBug 21 Dec, 2019 @ 9:38pm 
Thanks saved me alot of trouble one of my milks came and killed my dog so this was a literal lifesaver
Cobrazane 7 Jul, 2019 @ 11:06am 
this guide was made so long ago and I still love it xD
Skullbane 10 Apr, 2018 @ 11:29pm 
thank you for this guide, i can now sleep in peace without the milk shanking me
Eric Cartman 2 Apr, 2018 @ 3:27pm 
This saved my life. Thanks for the amazing tips
Deccyboiii 3 Mar, 2018 @ 5:22pm 
Very helpful 10/10 would subscribe to thread again. I would have never known what to do when my lactaid pulled an enzyme on me.