the first step to becoming the worlds best thrower is getting an alt, starting fresh, and throwing. youll be in silver for a long time, making kids mad, and jacking off to ♥♥♥♥♥♥ granny porn on the mic, just follow these steps:

getting a fresh account:
1. make a new steam community account, and then using paypal or a credit card add 5 dollars. otherwise you cant do ♥♥♥♥. in total this will cost about 8 to 18 dollars depending on what deals you get.
2. then buy csgo off ♥♥♥ for cheap, or from another trader online. this is probably a few bucks cheaper but still better than the full 15. its best if u can get csgo on sale.
3. with the 5 dollars, purchase an operation if there is one. doing the xp missions on there will get you xp super fast, and youll be throwing in no time. usually it takes about 3 or 4 hours, as opposed to doing boring ass deathmatch and casuals for 5 or 6 hours.
this last step is optional but it’ll annoy the ♥♥♥♥ out of your teammates. all you gotta do is download 4. this thing called SLAM. once you have it just play stupid music in game as loudly as you can, only downside is you might get muted so don’t overuse it.

(optional) finding a friend to throw with you:
this is really helpful in throwing, as you can start blatantly throwing without getting kicked, increase the amount of fun you have by 4x, and be even more of an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to your teammates. just have them get a fresh alt as well, and enjoy.

you need to learn how to throw, so here are the things you want to prevent as you throw. this section also has information on weird rules about overwatch, reporting, etc, and ways you can prevent these from happening:

getting a competitive cooldown:
the first ban is 30 minutes, then 2 hours, then 1 day, then 7 days. once u get a ban you have a week to “be clean” and then it goes down 1 level.
team damage
team kills
team damage at the start of a round
kicked too many times
you kicked too many people
afk
abandoning
suiciding

preventing team dmg, team dmg at start of round, and tk cooldowns:
dont ever shoot people in spawn. its not worth it, youll usually get banned.
dont even shoot people within 15 or so seconds of the round starting. youll usually get banned.
dont ever shoot people within the last few rounds of the game. even if you dont have any team damage, its a risk you shouldnt take.
dont headshot people a lot, and especially NOT WITH AN AWP. awp headshots do (i think) 225 damage to a teammate (damage is halved for team damage) and thats a lot of team damage, considering the max is around 400 - 500.
dont consistently do team damage throughout the game. we dont know the official rule, but dont shoot your teammate every round or something, just every 4 or so rounds.
dont kill more than 2 people, or youre done.

preventing kicking and getting kicked cooldowns:
dont vote to kick anyone. if you do, do like once a week because if you vote to kick too many people you will get banned. this applies to if you vote to kick bots or yourself over and over using the console, just dont do it.
try not to get kicked. this will be further explained later.

preventing afk cooldown:
if youre going afk, just type +right and +forward in console. it will make you walk in a circle in spawn and theres no way you can get kicked. this isnt good because overwatch will see you so dont plan on doing it for longer than a few rounds maximum each game. more on this later

preventing abandon cooldown:
dont abandon unless its only a 30m or 2h ban depending on how often you throw or how much you care. sometimes its better to just +right +forward the last few rounds while you go pick up your dogs ♥♥♥♥ off your lawn, instead of take the 30m ban. if you want to disconnect by being a ♥♥♥♥, thats perfect, just be back within 3 minutes.

preventing suicide cooldown:
dont suicide more than 3 or 4 times or youll get kicked. the number is either 4 or 5 but we’ve never found out the exact number.

getting overwatched:
griefing (throwing)
hacking
text and voice chat spam???

hacking:
this isnt a guide on how to not get caught hacking, but a good tip is to not be blatant.

griefing:
overwatch doesnt see the first 6 rounds of a game, so go ahead and be the biggest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ possible during that time
i dont think overwatch sees you until youve been reported. so at that point you are reported, overwatch would see that part and after. im not sure on this, but one way to make sure is to do either a non-suspicious throw, or a non-overwatch throw. these are the 2 safer levels of throwing in which we will explain later.

text and voice chat spam:
ive never heard of a ban for this, so spam it all you want. you may not want to depending on what type of throw youre doing, but otherwise ♥♥♥♥ it.

you can throw in different ways, believe it or not. you dont have to ♥♥♥♥ that i say, but i recommend following one of these depending on how safe you want to be when you throw. some ways are funner than others, but here are the main ways to throw:

non-suspicious throw (safest):
this is a harder way to throw, but can still be really fun depending on how you throw. basically you are acting like a really really bad player, pissing everyone off, and acting like youre trying when youre really throwing on the inside. this is hard to do if your teammates are optimistic, and easier to do if your teammates are stupid. but basically, dont do anything that will get you reported. thats the whole point of throwing this way, and surprisingly, its funner than you think. if you happen to get reported, you have been acting like a bad player the whole game so overwatchers will think youre just bad, and not say youre griefing. this is why this is the safest way to throw. but, we are more thirsty than that.

non-overwatch throw (safest):
this is pretty much the same as the last one, but different. so basically, you ♥♥♥♥ around hard but half the time you try and get some kills, while all the time losing. the end score should be more even than if you were blatantly or non-suspicious throwing, which will make your elo go down less, but its probably safer than non-suspicious throwing. we guess it depends on who your teammates are and how they react to you throwing.

blatant as ♥♥♥♥ throw (♥♥♥♥ it):
do whatever the ♥♥♥♥ you want and dont get banned. or get banned if you want to, just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ throw. one very important thing to note is if you solo and throw this way, you will most likely get kicked. this is why we only blatantly throw if were playing with each other.

now all this being said you still have to be a big ♥♥♥♥ to your team. and you have to have fun while doing it. heres a list of some easy yet effective ways to do so, they are split in the 3 different ways to throw:

general ways of being a ♥♥♥♥:
shoot your team, but follow the rules listed above so you dont get banned. the idea is to get them super low so they die fast, kill them, or just get them mad so they shoot you back, and hopefully get a cooldown.
block doorways and other tight areas, this is easier with at least two people.
stand in front of your team when they are trying to shoot someone. this is hard but can lead to a teammate getting a cooldown.
consistently flash or smoke your team when they try to push or just at any time really
disconnect at the start of the game, and reconnect right when the round starts, so you cant play and say something dumb.
afk or +right +forward on the round you have the bomb
afk or +right +forward on a round your team is going to rush and die. make them wait ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 10 years for the round to end.
every round youre the last person alive, make gunfights with the enemy really really long by shooting all over, shooting their feet a few times and then ducking back to cover, and simply milking the time from the round until you lose it. or you can just hide somewhere and get yelled at.
while youre throwing you might as well have some fun, so go around the map b-hopping and go for stupid shots. this goes well with spamming music
have you and your friend run boost around the map in dumb spots then wait there the whole round waiting for a kill.
tell a teammate youll buy for them and get them a bizon or sawed off, or some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ weapon.

being a ♥♥♥♥ with the bomb:
when you get the bomb theres a few things you can do with it:
run up mid or some other area that the cts can easily guard and die
hide the bomb somewhere or just leave it in spawn
hide with the bomb for the entirety of the round
+right +forward with the bomb in spawn
“accidently” start defusing too late
have trouble finding where the bomb is (ct or t side, this is awesome for if you have to clutch)

being a ♥♥♥♥ with your mic:
tell your team a story about something completely irrelevant or even disturbing
breathe into your mic from time to time to let your team know that youre still alive
play obnoxiously loud music or sounds
tell your team its all their fault that your team is losing
make callouts that arent true
eat and drink into your mic
say “im done with this game” every round
act really mad every 5 seconds

when to kick teammates (be careful and dont get a cooldown, and remember that it usually wont negatively affect someone if you kickt hem):
kick people who are too good and jeopardize your game by wanting to win. this is hard to do if you have people trying on your team
kick people just for fun
kick people who dont want to be kicked

when to not kick teammates:
people who want to be kicked (make them suffer)
someone who is super mad and will most likely abandon, which means an easy surrender.

and finally, remember that you are throwing, so dont win too many rounds or get too many kills because you may just accidentally win. remember the type of throwing you want to do and stick to it. it could result in something you dont want.

this is all about losing a lot, and knowing when to lose and get ranked really low. here is a step by step:
1. use your new account wisely. the reason i had you get a new account is because its wayyyyy easier to get a low rank than trying to derank an account thats already ranked. it is harder to derank once you have a rank, and the more wins you have the harder it is for your elo to change.
2. the first 5ish games you play, throw all of them as hard as possible. once you know you’re in silver, you can start to do step 3. tips about finding ranks are at the bottom.
3. after that, simply start winning 2 games for every 4 or 5 you lose. this takes a long time, but its a lot faster than trying to lose over and over for lot longer than this takes. if you notice youre in the same rank after only 2 losses and 2 wins, good for you. just dont let your elo go up too fast.

this is actually pretty important because it makes people mad, makes you look like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥, and helps you throw in all different aspects. here are some random things you can do to make your profile cringey:
take on the role of something cringey, like a weeaboo, furry, erp person, new gamer, console gamer, 10 year old, gamer dad, etc. you can also be a combination of these and it makes it even better.
make a description that makes people mad. if youre blatant, you might want to say something like: DERANKING TO SILVER 1. ADD ME 1 KEY PER 3 MATCHES DERANKED. if youre following a role, you might want to explain what type of erps you do or what percentage of animal you are if youre a furry, etc.
make your profile picture disturbing. for example, if youre a weeaboo you might want to do some extreme hentai ♥♥♥♥.

here are a few things that will help you along your throwing adventures:

checking rank:
there are multiple ways to check someone's rank. this will help you know what rank group you are in when youre getting your account ranked.
joining their steam group will let you see their rank when you press tab. this only works if they have their group selected in csgo, and if its public so you can join it. you have to select it as your group in csgo as well for it to work.
adding them as a friend or queueing with them will show someones rank.
going to {LINK REMOVED}csgo-ranks.com and putting in their profile will give their rank. this sometimes works, and it has been under maintenance recently.

♥♥♥: {LINK REMOVED}https://www.♥♥♥.com/
csgoranks: {LINK REMOVED}http://csgo-ranks.com/
SLAM: http://slam.flankers.net/

the name is limeythrows, and its for throwers. join the group::::::
http://gtm.you1.cn/groups/limeythrows