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Baldur's Gate 3 > Guides > Themadnessman's Guides
366 ratings
YE OLDE 100% LEGIT ROMANCE GUIDE
By Themadnessman
THIS GUIDE WILL YET AGAIN TELL YOU WHO'S HOT AND WHO'S NOT
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Created by
Themadnessman
Online
Category: Characters, Gameplay Basics, Story or Lore, Walkthroughs
Languages: English
Content Descriptors: General Mature Content, Frequent Violence or Gore
Posted
Updated
13 Sep, 2023 @ 5:43pm
17 Dec, 2024 @ 2:08pm
18,193 Unique Visitors
300 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
INTRODUCTION 
PART 1: BAE'ZEL 
CHAPTER 2: ASSTARION 
SEGMENT 3: SHADOWHEART THE HEDGEHOG 
MOMENT 4: WYLL HE OR WON'T HE 
TRACK 5: MAXTHARA 
PAGE 6: BLOWIN' AROUND IN A GALE 
POINT 7: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' KARLACH 
STEP 8: ALL HALSIN BREAKS LOOSE 
PHASE 9: UNLIMITED POWER! 
SUBSECTION 10: IT GETS WORSE(?) 
Comments
INTRODUCTION
BACKSTREET'S BACK, ALRIGHT. AND HERE TO PROVIDE YOU WITH ROMANTIC ADVICE YOU CAN'T IGNORE. THIS IS A PALPABLY HORNY GAME, SO BUCKLE UP. THERE'LL BE A LOT OF SPOILERS HERE TOO, UP TO ACT 3! SO BE CAREFUL

YOU WILL FIND THIS GUIDE LACKING IN INFORMATION AS TO WHO YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ROMANCE, THIS IS BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BISEXUAL IN THIS GAME, AND CAN BE ROMANCED REGARDLESS OF YOUR CHARACTER CHOICE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME.

THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE UNSERIOUS.
PART 1: BAE'ZEL


PROS
  • GREEN
  • GIVES THE AUTHENTIC KLINGON ROMANCE EXPERIENCE
  • TOTALLY DOESN'T LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING, TSK'VA
  • WILL DOM YOU INTO OBLIVION

CONS
  • REALLY MEAN (POSSIBLE PRO?
  • WILL HURT YOU PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY
  • WANTS TO FIGHT YOU (ALSO A POSSIBLE PRO?)
CHAPTER 2: ASSTARION


PROS
  • WILL SUCK YOU DRY
  • LIKES BEING COMPLIMENTED
  • DOG COLLAR ENJOYER
  • FANCY

CONS
  • WILL SUCK YOU DRY
  • REMINDS ME OF AUSTIN POWERS
  • HAS VERY OBVIOUS ISSUES
  • HAS POTENTIAL TO BECOME A MASSIVE ♥♥♥♥ [NEGATIVE]
SEGMENT 3: SHADOWHEART THE HEDGEHOG


PROS
  • SURPRISINGLY SWEET
  • INTO WATCHING YOU GET HIT
  • FINE WINE CONNOISSEUR
  • OPEN TO FREAKY POLYAMOROUS FUN

CONS
  • WORSHIPS ANTI-LOVE GOD
  • LOVES HER MAGIC BOX MORE THAN YOU
  • 50 FIRST DATES, THE GAME
MOMENT 4: WYLL HE OR WON'T HE


PROS
  • ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
  • CAN DANCE AND PRANCE
  • SEXY EYE
  • DILF IN THE MAKING

CONS
  • STUCK IN A REALLY MESSY DEMON DIVORCE
  • SOMEWHAT EASILY LED
  • HAS LEGIT DADDY ISSUES
TRACK 5: MAXTHARA


PROS
  • OURPLE
  • LOVELY ACCENT
  • I LOVE THE KIND OF LADY WHO WILL ACTUALLY JUST KILL ME
  • SURPRISINGLY DEVOTED

CONS
  • ALSO WANTS TO KILL A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE
  • IN A CULT
  • ACTUAL MISANDRIST #JUSTDROWTHINGS
PAGE 6: BLOWIN' AROUND IN A GALE


PROS
  • LOVES CONTEMPLATING (MOST) ORBS
  • CAT ENJOYER
  • HAS GOD-FELLING RIZZ
  • JUST A COZY MAN

CONS
  • MAY PREMATURELY EXPLODE
  • GUNNING FOR THAT CEO ROLE, AMBITION IS GOOD BUT CHILL OUT MAN
  • REALLY HUNG UP OVER HIS EX
  • WILL EAT YOUR CLOTHES
POINT 7: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' KARLACH


PROS

cons
  • HERE FOR A GOOD TIME, NOT A LONG TIME
  • TOO HOT TO HANDLE
STEP 8: ALL HALSIN BREAKS LOOSE


PROS
  • M A S S I V E M A N
  • TREE HUGGER, AND YOU'RE LOOKING MIGHTY GREEN
  • FREAK IN THE REEDS

CONS
  • IF YOU DON'T LIKE BEARS YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP THIS ONE
  • SOMEWHAT LACKING IN PLOT RELEVANCE
  • BORING
PHASE 9: UNLIMITED POWER!


PROS
  • TRAGIC BACKSTORY
  • TENTACLES
  • CAN BE WHOEVER YOU WANT HIM TO BE

CONS
  • YOUR PARTY WILL NEED THERAPY
  • MORE THAN A LITTLE INVASIVE
  • WORRYINGLY INTO MIND FLAYING, WANTS YOU TO JOIN THE GANG
SUBSECTION 10: IT GETS WORSE(?)


PROS
  • I MEAN, JESUS.
  • LITERAL PURE PLEASURE

CONS
  • OW
  • SHE'S ALREADY HANDING YOU THE PAPERS
  • WYLL IS DISAPPOINTED (RIGHTFULLY SO)
30 Comments
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Themadnessman  [author] 25 Nov, 2024 @ 2:30pm 
SHE IS THO
Rando_Ratt 23 Nov, 2024 @ 4:17pm 
wishing karlch was bi 😪
BOT Andy 8 Nov, 2024 @ 4:12pm 
This is an amazing guide, 10/10
Zerphses 10 Feb, 2024 @ 7:00am 
Worth noting if you're in a relationship with Shadowheart and Halsin hits on you she'll tell you to go for it because she'd hit that too. You kinda get a throuple situation going on.
Simon McAllister 31 Jan, 2024 @ 7:40pm 
Minthara is probably one of the most gentile lovers in the game. Outside of saying you are hers. She only ask for loyalty to her and commitment to the relationship. She does come from a society where backstabbing is pretty much more than common. She is more of a delightfully evil than outright diabolical evil. The former only kills if something is the be gained that is within reason, the later kills because they can and often for the pleasure of it. She loves you even if you don't do what she wants you to do and loves you regardless of what you become. Even if its that you turn into a brain eating evil Zoidberg.
Corvo_Bianco 13 Dec, 2023 @ 7:12am 
The best romance guide i've read so far :D
Bee 28 Nov, 2023 @ 8:22pm 
you should add that gale canonically would love u as a worm. and also thinks you're better than a god
𝑀𝓊𝑔𝑒𝓃 3 Oct, 2023 @ 4:27pm 
Bae zel , mama k and minthara are the standouts imo
volcaniclastic 2 Oct, 2023 @ 8:53pm 
"WHAT ABOUT AUNTIE ETHEL"
now i want the first dlc to be a swamp expansion where you can recruit and romance auntie ethel and that vampire hunter dude
Riyujin 2 Oct, 2023 @ 1:57am 
Love you karlach