Ready or Not

Ready or Not

137 ratings
How to avoid a nervous breakdown when you see women in your videogame and remain an alpha
By Sage
Inspired by reading steam forums’ posts written by the ensemble of the biggest brains within the observable universe (that’s appox. 45 billion light-years), this guide will help you to raise your testosterone as well as to preserve your masculinity.

Should you have a hormonal disbalance, especially Low-T levels, consult your therapist before reading this text. All pictures are zoomable by a single click, in case your eyes don't see good after reading that 200-page inсel manifesto. Happy reading and cheers!
6
4
6
3
6
3
3
2
2
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
Introduction
Your PC is on, you logged in into Steam, you have the Community Hub opened. Your parents are proud of you, your business is prospering, you are going to open a new office in Singapore in January. Your crypto assets are doing mind-blowing stonks, you finally paid off your 2nd Panamera, you have 7inch and your girlfriend is non-existant. Everything seems to work and to be just fine but .. suddenly you see that there is a sort of a misconception about your whole existance and, more importantly, a computer game..



You scroll the forum posts, and comments under them. You’ve seen that before, you know what to expect now. The darkness upon the gaming world is raising and the picture of your Self starts to collapse. But you are a warrior by nature. A fearless protector. A wise leader. You can’t let it be, the justice has to be restored and the games have to get right again.




  • YOU will have to face the people who are not right and have different beliefs.
  • YOU will have tell them where they went wrong and why.
  • YOU will have to save your beloved world of videogames.
  • YOU will have to go through these three steps again ..


I don’t mean to discourage you, brave men, but you will probably lose this fight. However, fear not! The wokies from twitter, the clowns on the internet, the trolls, feminists - they are getting more and more in numbers. The society is ♥♥♥♥♥ up and is falling apart. In the meantime your testosterone level is falling and your masculinity is about to be broken. Don't let it happen again. You should start using your brain power against them because you are not only entitled to muscles, but also to superior intelligence, don't forget about that. Let's gooooooo!

The battle shall begin.
but before you start ...
The game itself can actually help you. Before throwing yourself into a fight, you may just try to launch and enjoy the game!

SWAT is for men. It's a known fact, you can't do much about it, since it's the axiomatic truth.

There are known cases of T-Raise in the bodies of individuals who start to play Ready or Not. Presumably, it's connected to the abovementioned fact that SWAT is only for men, thus, having accumulated the male energy, the whole concept of SWAT, even being represented in a form of a computer game, can restore yout T-Level back to normal.

Let's have a look at this case:



This one person shared his experience with others and we know that it helped at least another fellow 1000+ players who also might be suffering from identity crysis and dying masculinity. Eventhough he couldn't locate the root of his problem and kept playing for over 1000hours Rainbow Six Siege, in the end it all didn't matter as all he needed is a game full of masculinity, and in such a game, there must be no place for women, you know that as well.

Do not judge the guy for having taken such long time to realise the difference between Fortnite-stupid-unicorn hello kitty games and the real deal. Thanks to him we know that low T-Level is not the end. It IS reversable and it IS curable, keep those muscles working and your fingers typing on Steam forums because you know that only following this simple yet powerful logic, we can conclude :

This should make you feel comfortable for a while.

Eventhough the game itself can be a full and proper replacement for a Low Testosterone treatment, not all individuals may find it useful, some - even undesirable, especially once your FOV is spammed with immersion-breaking and non-existant female operators, ruining your whole game experience, mood and the picture of the world.

To help these lost souls who are not yet crushed under the pressure of SJWism nor broken by the stronk women, this text was created to take your grip-trained hand and lead you through these dark times in an era of 2020s videogames. Follow this guide to know how to resist and fight back the inevitable nonsense.
Preparations
The preparations are essential part of being successful on Steam forums and in life. A true warrior is always prepared and knows what to expect. Preparations consist of two parts, which are separated but not independant from one another, neither they are interchangeable. Make sure to read and study both thouroughly, you don't want to put your masculinity at risk again, don't you?

1. Define your battlefield and Set your priorities.

First things first, you have to proiritize what is really important about the game you like. Don't spread your attention on unecessary things like cheating AI, bad animation, not being able to join your friends' game etc. These don't really matter when it comes for your fun and normally discussed by some sigma-level males. Instead, focus on one single thing that's worth being focused on, and quit worrying about the rest. Men are scientifically proven to be single-tasking, so are you.

Remember this: your battlefield is Steam forums. Your goal is not to let women in the Game. Keyboard is your weapon. As long as you remember these three, you probably won't fail in preserving your masculinity and you're good to go.

Here are the excellent examples of insane focus and the priorities set right:



OR


OR



As you can see, there is no need to think much about what is really important and what worries your brothers, just have a look at the amount of comments. Is it more than average on the page? Then it IS what matters in the game, it IS what you should worry about, it IS the place you have to defend yourself in. Can't be wrong with this one here.

Note that with probability of 99% the topic will be soon locked as too much provocation is going on, but worry not, you can always create a new one, don't hesitate - go for it! Actually the only locked topics are those discussing the possibility to add the female operator in the game? Why? Because they want to shut you up. They know they can't cope with your logic, arguments and dry facts and get too emotional and ridiculous with all this unicorn lgbtqa+ feminist-leftist-pony stuff, you've been there, you've fought that. They are all triggered. You are not. Just don't give up and get in the battle again. Don't let this game become another circus with pink weapons and hello kitty superpowers because that's what women bring with them by default once introduced in a game. You want your harsh, manly and serious game to be free from the ridiculous woke tendencies.

2. Choose your logic line.

Having your priorities set will get you to the right place but it will mean nothing without being the alpha there. You have to assert your dominance over the other, inferior human beings, by being consistent, reasonable, smart, and, most importantly, you have to make others see that your way of thinking and your vision is The right one. Don't threaten your masculinity by not participating in a discussion - you risk a lot here by being passive. You have to make your voice count, don't forget your warrior nature.

Having your logic line wisely chosen will also help you to get into a fight quicker and jump out of it like a real gigachad, making everybody jaw-dropped and gaining an insta +rep boost.


Being very efficient and rational by nature and having to rely on science and facts constantly in your daily life, you might find it helpful to use a simple Starter-Personality picker to remain persistent for a while and commence arguing on the forums. It was created by the best PhDs in Social Science (not Gender Studies, exhale) in German Academy for Men Studies (DAfMF - Deutsche Akademie für Männerforschung):


Each type of ignorance you choose will affect the lexicon used, the logical spans (and gaps), the way people might see you and, most importantly, you argumental weaponry. Choose wisely if you want to seem consistent (you do want to).

How to pick:

It requires a certain level of self-reflection - something alpha males are normally not aware of, so I made a simple-to-read picture for you. Read about these types and decide for one which you feel the closest to. Of course, you may belong to hybrid-type but I'm going to ask you to pick one to facilitate your further choices when it comes to arguing on steam forums.

Now that you've picked up your role, just jump to the corresponding section to gain some insight view upon the arguing opportunities, defence and dodging. A must-have arsenal of any man willing to maintain his testosterone level within normal rates and masculinity in general.
Type 1: Alpha
General notes and guidelines on Alpha-Variant:

A real alpha dominates or wants to dominate over everybody: both men and women. They never doubt their superiority, thus they feel the urge to prove it. You might really like weapons, war and military. You have a picture of yourself at a shooting range and you never mind to show it. You know the history of the humanity and you mastered the geopolitics.You like everything loud, bold, complicated and serious. No child's play. You wouldn't launch a joke like Fortnite or R6, as these arcade-based games are not for real men. You have to maintain the gatekeeper role to make sure your comfort zone remains in the limits of your personality and your personal vision of the world. You like to call other "children" and point them what they should or shouldn't play. You also have the right and the duty to send somebody "play another" game because you think that they are not good / serious enough for something you pick up.

Never miss an opportunity to remind everybody that RoN is a slow-paced tactical shooter which requires a methodical playstyle not everybody is capable of. Innerly you know one needs a certain mindset for games like this and, of course, skills. The latter implies, you are also entitled to tell one to "Get good.", if you feel like a person has a spark of potential to get into the game.

Obviously, you are sure that women don't belong here as they don't have enough competence for such tasks, not to mention their physical strength and mental capacities to cope with a mouse and a keyboard.

Pick this one if you never miss an opportunity to join an argument and like to present simple nature-created truths, derivating from Men-Hunters / Women-Children dichotomy and if you like to be the guardian for places only alphas like you are entitled to.

Let's finally begin with the arguments:
-- Call them a troll
A never-aging classic which allows you to artfully dodge any provocation is to call your opponent a troll. An alternative to this can be typing something like "LOL", "You must be kidding, right?", "Nice bait" etc. One can't be serious saying there are women in law enforcement anyway.


So as a rule, once something doesn't fit inside your field of approval, call it trolling or a joke. Works like a charm and you remain victorious.
-- Go back to your trash games
Instead of thousand words, you can just belittle your opponent and imply that their intellectual development is suffereing from stagnation simply by directing them to a game you don't really approve of. Having women in RoN would mean RoN turning into trash like R6. Golden examples of such unbreakable argumentation and logic:


-- Women didnt invent anything
Just like any other male who doesn't lack self-respect, you definitely reinvent every single thing before using this thing made by other males. You have your personal collection of blueprints and materials in case something gets broken. Sharing the XY system automatically makes you a co-creator of every single invention the Humanity have ever seen, also giving you the right to be proud, demand respect and remind to be thankful, should you find yourself in a conversation with somebody as inferior as a female. Don't be afraid to hear something like "men also murder and do horrible crimes" because it would be just the time to appeal to #notallmen, magically separating you from the horrible people camp and bringing you back the inventors' camp.


Being a male gamer, he definitely contributed enough to the RoN or even the whole Gaming community even before starting this piece of software. Be sure you follow this noble example of a Man, and not just a random feminist and men-hating girl passing by and histerically demanding things that don't belong to her.

A possible derivative from this Argument:
-- Where were you in the 1990s
Where were all these opressed minorities called "women" in the 1990s, 2000s, 2010s? Huh?! Why now this plague starts to spread like hell, it used to be normal and everybody were happy!

They can start giving you links or just dare saying in bare words without a single proof some bs like there were less female gamers overall back then or, even better, that the culture was different and something completely overthought like the gaming was already stigmatized and reserved for "geeky" chads, and they would be even less approved or even be perceived as "freaks" if they did that.

See what nonsense it is? Don't bother making research on nonsense, ever. Just ignore or say "Not even going to answer to that troll post" and block. But blocking can be considered a pussу move, better say that and keep arguing. No, your logic and being consistent is not ruined by doing that.
-- Males are barely represented in games
.. due to this stupid leftist propaganda and SJW hysterians!



There’s just not enough games with male protagonists, male teams and about males. Can we finally have some as well? Is it that much we are asking for?
-- Women are LGBTQA+
They will ask you how adding a woman will affect your gameplay?


You can counter this pathetic logical failure by asking a question back:

"How about adding Unicorns because I identify as one so I dont feel missed?"

Like this you let the opponent CLEARLY know that women are unicorns are both mythical creatures and originate from fantasy worlds, having nothing in common with objects of the visible reality you can interact with on daily basis. Just think about it, if somebody identifies as Kettle or a Spade, should we add those models in the game? It would be as unthinkable as adding women there, they are only 50% of humanity and not even real. What a nonsense, just ignore these weak-minded trolls and leave this question open. They should understand you, not vice versa, you are here to lecture, the rest is here just to listen.



^ These two are shining at bringing things straight to the point. Keep it short and funny.
-- Women are SJWs, Woke, Anime
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. There, where women are, are the SJWs, Wokies and the Anime, of course. That's just default, many are aware of the fact:




Type 2: Reasonable
General notes on Reasonable Type:

You have to be a bit more careful than alpha type here as you believe that being bold and loud can get you banned or, worse, ignored. Basically you can say anything YOU feel comfortable with or sth you heard from your childhood time, society and things you grew up with / on, everything you picked up not consciously - that'd would do as well. Just say anything and add up "....., and that's a known fact.". If it's not enough for your opponent, add "... proven by scientists" or "... everybody knows that".

Do use latin phrases, like elevated "ad hominem" instead of simpletonish "personal attack" especially when spotting logical fallacies, everybody knows they make you look solid, educated and give the feel that you have the access to a deeper truth which can embarass their narrow minds. You are not to be messed with. Use that intelligence and knowledge you possess and remember: you are here for the public, not for the truth.

Do use numbers you just grabbed from google and repeat yourself to represent them in a different manner. Remind everybody that 1/2 makes 50% of something, condescend temporarily to their level to then perpetually ascend over their dark minds once they realised the gap between your intelligence and theirs.

In short, prove yourself to be more intelligent, more insightful and as logical as possible in opposite to all those weak hypocrites who don't agree with you. You always have to prove, you have to compete.

Don't worry to make logical mistakes - you simply can't, because you are great.

Everybody should fear to confront you not to get embarassed when you will be pointing out their logical facts and tell them to fact-check. Very masculine yet not too bold and loud. An evolved alpha.

Arguments to use:

-- Women are not realistic
aka
I dont mind women, it’s just not realistic.


Since you are able to gain accurate and reliable information quickly from the Earth's infofield just by being a male, I'm sure you also can become an expert in literally everything in no-time, you just need to think of yourself as one. Say, if you feel like being a philosopher, you can just become one, or weapons expert or spec ops tactician or anything else you consider solid and heavy enough to crush your opponent on the forum battle and sound super solid.

  • If you play a tactical shooter, you are a special weapon and tactics expert.
  • If you play a military strategy, you are a diplomacy and war expert.

etc., you know the drill.

You are always well-informed and prepared, you can barely recall a thing you have no idea about unless there is another male next to you who seem more educated, here you take the "attentive listener" role and nod when suitable or, if you feel like going bold, start to argue with him as well, but if you do that too often, consider yourself more of an "alpha type", and jump to one section above.

You are entitled to say what is realistic and what is not. Don't you ever hesitate to create a forum post about it, otherwise you won't be able to show off with some specific knowledge and compete with words with the only end goal to assert the intellectual superiority over your opponent.

Or one can even dare to say that "Realism" can be subjective for every player in the game, if X will be considered realistic for one, it might not be for another. There will be always realism borders in the game because it's a game.

I feel how your frontal lobes are getting hotter from reading these, don't try to understand, it's cool. Just do not fall for these, brother, insist on what you feel realism is and keep creating topics, answers, contradictions, make that superior brain of yours work!

You might encounter lame arguments like:

"Man, if you want realism, you should also bleed out in the game once shot."
"Join SWAT if you want realism"
"If you wanted realism, you shoot you in the arm when you get shot in the arm in the game"

But there is a risk to miss a very important point here..

Do NOT forget though about the Preparations Step 1.: Setting the priorities. The examples below just show that they all boil in a swamp of subjectivity: the real question is..
do women fit in a realistical SWAT-Shooter or not?

The example of an unfocused usage of a male brain in a swamp of subjectivity while talking about realism in a SWAT Game:


The answer is
NO.
It is not realistic, you should not doubt it. Who could think that pulling a trigger is something for women?
-- Women will break my immersion
aka
There is less than X% women in SWAT

A very solid argument not to add 50% of humanity in a computer game. Spice it up with some numbers because they should matter in your realistic computer game.


Everybody cares about an accurate statistical representation of numbers in computer games, otherwise they'd stop to bring fun, so consider mentionning it as well, covering up your insecurities and avoiding being labeled as a sexist brute.

Let them know you care about realism.
In numbers.
In a computer game.

Type 3: Fedora
Being Fedora is not as bad as it might seem, yes you may not get the full recognition and respect from the Alphas and, what's even worse, be seen by them as a "Leftist". But at least you are a nice guy! You don't like to conflict, you think you don't discriminate and you are sure everybody has their own place in life (of course within the limits only you can define and which are the truthful ones). Once somebody gets loud or bombards you with facts, you can call them an aggressive troll and just block / start to ignore them because you are above this and don't want to waste your time on anything which doesn't fit in your line of argument.

You are a mild gatekeeper, your masculinity may not be screaming and bumping but you know where your place is and where women's place is. You. Just. Know. It.

Just like with the "Reasonable Type", you don't have to bother to proof it, or at least to present the proofs, so you can and refer to anything you say as to a known "facts" which "scientists have already proved", don't worry about the rest. What is the difference between you and the Reasonale Type you will ask me? You, sir, are a cultured philosopher, if you say that men are great at SWAT, don't say the women are not, add up some positive ideas and concepts so the conversation has a productive potential to persuade your opponent. For example, instead of saying "women would be bad at door kicking." say something good about them like "they would be a great support, there are many field medics who are female but I can't imagine them kicking doors while they are so much better than men in something else." Smooth. Elegant. Smart.

A good example of Fedora Type trying to protect our male front:


Notice how he artfully protected himself from being claimed as sexist in the last sentence. Remember: you wish only the good, you shouldn't come up as a brute, keep it civil and quiet, otherwise you risk to get ignored.

Unfortunately, I don't seem to find the other posts presenting the following arguments, I might add them up later but I think they got deleted. Still, I'm adding these to your weaponry:
-- Women are simply not created for this
We have perverted values in the modern world that women are not appreciated.

It's not that women can't do things like being a part of a SWAT team, it's just that it's not their mission. They try to be better and be like men, because they don't feel appreciated when they fulfill their nature role. They get as competitive as men and try to get the same jobs and same positions as men, because being a man is seen better by the society!

That causes the disbalance in the world and that's why we have all this gender chaos right now, we forgot our roles prescribed by nature. Women shouldn't do the things men are supposed to do, like clicking mouse in front of a computer or writing comments on a Steam forum.
-- Women are better at other things
Women and men are just different, while women are better at some tasks, and men - in other.
Like I already mentioned, a gentelman's choice. A very nice workaround for those who don't want to appear as a jerk yet feel the itch to gatekeep. Use these time-proven iron arguments like "women are mediators, men are fighters" or "women are more emotional and men are logical" (risk to appear a bit outdated but if you wrap it in better words, it can pass) or a no-brainer if you really don't feel like thinking: "women are better with children, and men are better with everything else", you can't lose here at all.


A friendly reminder: don't doubt that Steam forums are not the appropriate place for this discussion. Games get political? You get political. Go on, and never doubt yourself (not like you ever did but just sayin')
Can we stop the collapse?
It's hard to talk about such global and ground-breaking topics like Female operators in a SWAT game. There are too many fake prophets, trolls and crazy feminists who do nothing but hating MEN, instead of solving real problems, like you do on daily basis. They have no idea what you have to face and that you have to fight for your comfortable existance like nobody else.

Will you win this fight? Seems like the chances are at 50/50 at the moment. So it's worth to continue to prove everybody wrong. The developers left a very vague message:




But since you are very important (don't you ever dare to doubt that) and don't feel you are treated the way you deserve to be by the game developers, you might also consider simply refunding the game. Vote with your wallet. Vote with your hate. They will notice you. They will count your voice. They have no other choice because you are reasonable and the Truth is on your side, you know that and that's enough. Be wise, go above these rants and just refund it:
Epilogue and further instructions.
Now that you've seen that sjws, woke scum and snowflakes can be shut up and cut easily, you can finally come back to the game or go outside and ride your Porsche.



BONUS

How to get your testosterone back to norm quick and without seeing a therapist in 2 simple steps:

1. Report this guide:
(Bonus advice: call some friends for backup)

2. Report Sage:
(The aforementioned bonus advice applies here as well)



Remember to spice up your reports with some decent reasoning, here are some starting points:

For the Guide:
  • It's sexist.
  • Not an actual guide, it's against Steam rules
  • I'm insulted, do sth about it.
  • I'm just doing my steam citizen duty and cleaning Steam from scum like this Sage.

For Sage:
  • Very funny, Sage, stand up artists can go fuсk themselves.
  • Go to the kitchen and make me a sandwitch with cyanide (OK?)
  • You should be the one seeing a therapist, bitсh
  • I hope you die and your X, and your Y, I will -ck you and your XYZ (be as much masculine as one can possibly be here, the sky's the limit)

Keep in mind that steam Refund system works faster as Reports reviewing, so you might consider getting patient after having your game refunded and monitoring whether this text was banned. You may want to make another 100 push-ups to the Eye of the Tiger while waiting,it's all up to you.




Unfortunately, a huge part of the topics / messages I wanted to feature here got deleted faster than I expected, I will definitely add them if I manage to find them somehow. But for now..

My Congratulations! You contributed to a healthy and welcoming gaming community, making Steam a better, cleaner place. Now you are great and you are right, you should feel better now, and don't doubt: your mission for today was accomplished.

Thanks for reading and wasting your time, bye!




38 Comments
Floof 19 Jan @ 8:59pm 
"Guys you can just mod the game with 3rd party software, so the argument in this satirical steamguide that literally makes fun of the idea of using steam discussions to actually argue about something that is already a forgone conclusion since they're adding them anyway is actually dumb and stupid, so says I, the high T individual, unlike this sage character, click on this shady link for proof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92nYmrxHTpc "
this_is_petro 6 Jan @ 5:15am 
This entire argument unfurls if you just mod in the female operators.

https://www.nexusmods.com/readyornot/mods/460
https://www.nexusmods.com/readyornot/mods/3941
https://www.nexusmods.com/readyornot/mods/3652

It takes all of about five minutes.
JimmyJ 10 Feb, 2024 @ 8:59pm 
this guide saved my gaming career
S T A R W O L F 29 Dec, 2023 @ 6:31am 
Only 7 inches?? You grossly underestimate my power..
Fed 30 Jul, 2022 @ 4:53pm 
The joke is that the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" which is clever in itself and quite funny to those with a mature sense of humour but what's really just hilarious about it is that if you look closely at the front of this store, Sneed's Feed & Seed, you can see a line that reads "Formerly Chuck's". Now, this might go over the average viewer's head as this, THIS, is peak comedy. I doubt anything will ever be as funny as the joke about Sneed's Feed & Seed. Are you ready for this one? So, like I said, the place is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed" and this sign says "Formerly Chuck's", which means that when Chuck owned the place, well, I don't have to tell you...
Fed 30 Jul, 2022 @ 4:43pm 
the
Luke 2 Jul, 2022 @ 3:40pm 
this is satire way past the level of today's greatest writers
i can't believe it flies over everyone's head-
bad_player 2 Jul, 2022 @ 12:35pm 
Mucho texto
Syllofy 2 Jul, 2022 @ 2:55am 
This has to be satire.

Otherwise it is really just a fever dream written by an absolute incel.
leaf dog 1 Jul, 2022 @ 7:49pm 
No fucking clue what this entire argument is about but it seems really fucking immature to write an entire steam guide "OWNING THE HATERS"