Pummel Party

Pummel Party

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How to beat your friends in Pummel Party (not really)
By Gonzalos
This guide will (not really) show you how to beat all your friends in Pummel Party
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Chapter 1: Knowing your limits
Play the game and see which gamemodes you're bad at, and then just be better at those specific gamemodes. Unless they're very unfun gamemodes like that stupid flying race one which is legit just so boring.

Practice in custom gamemode mini-games
Chapter 2: Improving yourself
Just select specific gamemode rules that favour your suites, host the game and distract your friends so they hopefully wont notice that you've changed the set game rules to only the mini-games that you're good at. Play those mini-games.

*Important note: if you are still struggling to win despite picking the only gamemodes you are good at, then refer to Chapter 1: of this guide*
Chapter 3: An in-depth explanation on micro/macro management of the board game to drastically increase your odds at winning
Step 1: Pick any map
Step 2: Choose 1-7 other people to play with
Step 3: Play the board game mode for 20 minutes before realising it's just a more boring version of most mario party games
Step 4: Turn off pummel party and transfer to any (or most) mario party game
Step 5: Forget that you have pummel party in your steam inventory until one of your friends says "hey we should play pummel party". You must respond with "The board game or just the mini-games." If their response is the board game then block your friend immediately.
Step 6: Play only the mini-games that you are good at (refer to Chapter 1 and 2).

*These steps become difficult if you do not own friends. You can purchase friends in the point shop*
Chapter 4: Alternative ways to improve your gameplay and playstyle
1. Play against bots and get crowns to get capes to look cool and intimidate your friends into surrendering so you can claim moral superiority or something.
2: Some gamemodes are honest-to-god so boring and serve no challenge or purpose other than to focus your most basic motor skills and memory over (most likely) years of playing games to move your hands around your keyboard and mouse / controller to ensure your plane doesn't crash or something. There's no skill to that gamemode. Sure, maybe you can save 0.3845 seconds if you rotate your plane 17 degrees clockwise when turning right to maintain a specific amount of wind velocity, but frankly the time loss and wind resistance felt by the plane increases your speed by such a minimal amount that you gain a speed so minuscule that it becomes inconsequential whether you do it not. Perhaps those additional 0.3845 seconds may help you beat your friends that are good at that one specific gamemode, but what will it do for you in the future? Your dreams, aspirations and hopes are all gone by the time you complete this specific manoeuvre. Think about what you have to gain vs what you lose by doing this trick - are all the dreams and memories you've created with your friends all worth the struggle to perfect a time-saving trick in some game's boring airplane flying "race" gamemode? Yes. Absolutely. Try spinning - that's a good trick.
2.5: That's it
Chapter 4?: Conclusion
That'll be $4,000 in unmarked, unregistered bills. Bring to -42.81750, 2.14625, 1.86 (bring a boat). Meet Hector, he will receive your payment. That is all.

Good luck gamers!
4 Comments
SealsMarker 30 Jan, 2023 @ 11:55am 
Instructions still unclear, penis stuck in friends.
upside-down-frog 28 May, 2022 @ 2:17pm 
ok
Potiental Dude 24 Oct, 2021 @ 8:05am 
steps unclear, my friends chose to use he capes i have.
Unstable Ward 28 Jun, 2021 @ 12:00pm 
The last sentence in chapter 3 is not all clear. I now have 3 friends from the point shopt and they are fish