Are you lost in being the unfunniest being the world has ever created?

Well, you might just be a hopeless case, but you can nevertheless try fixing that with the hints in this guide.

Firstly, you need to understand that this is NOT a game. If you want to succeed in being the big funny you need to become proficient in psychological manipulation and torture.

And you start you training with...

Before you can start manipulating your opponents, you need to understand their psyche.

You can always say "♥♥♥" or "♥♥♥♥" or something like that and have a chance to win, yes.

But this guide is not about giving you a chance to win. It is about getting you THE WIN.

So firstly, get to know your opponents. Unless you are a literal mind reader, this will have to take three months to eleven years. You need to learn how your opponents tick, how they work, what they find maddening, depressing, what. They. Find. Funny.

I expect you to have completed this step at this point, thus you have the perfect preconditions for...

The most important thing about using your opponents' subconscious against them, is that you have to do it in a subtle fashion. You can't have them know they are but puppets in your masterful psychological scheme.

First, lead them into a blissful state of carelessness, then slowly, gently, mold their mind like wet clay in your hands.

• Use things they find funny, but incorperate them into your own jokes carefully.
  
• IMPORTANT: While writing your joke(s), laugh. It will raise their expectations, making it funnier.
  
• Everytime you see your own jokes, laugh hysterically.
  
• However, when you see their jokes, laugh LESS hysterically, but still hard, so they think their jokes are funny, but yours are simply funnier
  
• When the round is over, keep laughing at your joke(s) for a short while to leave a lasting impression.

Now, you have them in your hand. However, if you want to turn the 99% into a 100% win chance, there's one last step you need to follow:

In Step 1 I said: "You can always say "♥♥♥" or "♥♥♥♥" or something like that and have a chance to win, yes."

If you are a smart little sausage, you might already have thought to yourself: "Well, if these words work sometimes, and the strat in this guide secures my victory, I could go overkill and still use these words."

And that is EXACTLY what you should do. Nothing says wacky and funny like using one of the following trigger words (trigger as in "triggers gen-Z brains to release dopamine"):

• "♥♥♥"
  
• "shi t"
  
• "♥♥♥♥"
  
• "♥♥♥♥"
  
• "cocc"
  
• "puss y"
  
• literally any slur

Very simple. If you can't win by being inherently funny, you can "convince" your friends that you are funny by using the power of a .40

Needed:

• A gun

You have completed my training with flying colours, and you will carry on my legacy. I thank you for never letting the rare art of winning Jackbox Party Pack 3 die.

Teach this to your children, and soon we can rule the world with our immense psychological potential.

WE WILL BE GODS.