DOOM
25 ratings
The Perfect Satanist
By Mutterbefeuchter and 1 collaborators
                              𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚍𝚐𝚎.
   
Award
Favorite
Favorited
Unfavorite
1. Register with the Church of Satan
2. Apply to become an active member
3. Rise through the hierarchy
4. Read The Satanic Bible
5. Acknowledge the Nine Satanic Statements
Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!
6. Know the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Do not harm little children.

Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
7. Remember the Nine Satanic Sins
Stupidity. The Satanist should endeavor to educate himself in all things.

Pretentiousness. Don’t posture as something greater than you are – this can lead to further sins.

Solipsism. Do not forget that the world includes many more than just yourself. Do unto others as they do unto you.

Self-deceit. Don’t act like something you know you are not.

Herd Conformity. The antithesis of thinking for yourself.

Lack of Perspective. Though independence is important in Satanism, do not let it cloud your judgment.

Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies. Move forward with your future, but never forget the past.

Counterproductive Pride. Pride is important for recognizing your worth, but do not let it get you in over your head.

Lack of Aesthetics. Take care of yourself and your body.
8. Final Words
Don't take this guide too serious. Every individual is allowed and should have his own opinion on things that surrounds it. Based on facts and knowledge, not on feelings and emotions.

There's no perfect Satanist, nor any other kind of perfect individual.

Live and let live, be and let be.
8 Comments
Duryy 24 Jul, 2019 @ 4:24pm 
Nice
Galaxius 20 Jul, 2019 @ 12:29am 
**Doomguy wants to know your location**
JoeJamJalopy 18 Jul, 2019 @ 12:56pm 
sounds pretty gay if you ask me, i'd rather rip and tear
Mug 18 Jul, 2019 @ 9:13am 
ok
BigBepis 17 Jul, 2019 @ 12:51pm 
ok
MadamVonCuntpuncherThe19th 15 Jul, 2019 @ 1:08pm 
ok
miamam 15 Jul, 2019 @ 1:14am 
ok
Annoying Pinkerton 14 Jul, 2019 @ 3:53am 
ok