This guide spoils (almost) all of the choices and the result of them.

This means you can figure out the best choices without actually going through the bad ones, which are at times hilarious story bits that you'll be missing out on!

I've made this guide to help people not ruin a playthrough that was going really well with risky choices.
Even though it's part of the game to lose like that, yes.

While every game is random with which choices they're handed, the outcomes are not random (thank you devs, people can only handle so much RNG).
This guide tries to tell you the effect of every choice without spoiling any specific story elements, or the dialogue themselves. I did include the mutations, for when people might want to pursue certain achievements.


A few short tips:
I've underlined the objectively best choices. Just for the sake of ease.
Everything else comes down to what you find important at that moment. Some choices are great early on. Other choices are terrible for endless play.

Lost arms are non-recoverable, and reduces the max amount of arms you can have by 1. This is not very relevant in story mode as you won't get near the max.

The Dog does nothing, except for being cute.

- A Box
1-1 & 2-1: Ghouls - Food from Bio-reactor doubled - Food Gen disabled permanently (Still requires upgrades for max food)
1-2 & 2-2: Lose all Humans in Breeding Tube
3: Nothing

- A GAT!
1: Nothing
2 & 3: Power Generator disabled for a day

- Baby
1: Gain Baby (Kills 1 human each feeding - Gains an individual 10 Power generation)
2: Lose Arm - Gain Power - Gain Food

- Battery Fluid
1: Lose 1 human
2: Some Humans give 20/50%(?) more Power in Bio-Reactor (Only happens once)

- Biter
1: Lose Humans (6/15% ?)
2-1: Lose Humans (50%)
2-2: All Humans are Zombies (33% slower exhaustion, 17% slower work)

- Brass Monkey Weather
1: Lose Power - Power Gen 17% slower (1 day)
2: Lose food (25%) - Ignore Cold
3: Power Gen 17% slower (1 day)

- BTTF
1: Whole world is 50% faster for a day
2-1: Whole world is 50% faster for a day
2-2: Whole world is 25% slower for a day
2-3: Nothing
3-1: Nothing
3-2-1: Whole world is 50% faster for a day
3-2-2: Whole world is 25% slower for a day
3-2-3: Nothing

- Circus
1: Breeding Tube 13% slower exhaustion
2: Lose Humans (15%)

- Computation Failure
1: Nothing
2&3: HUD Breaks for a day

- Doc Ock
2-1-1 & 2-2-1: 4 Extra Claws. 80% Faster 10% to kill
Other choices: Nothing

- EventName
1: Days are now 6 feeding cycles
2: Days are now 4 feeding cycles
3: Nothing

- Existentialism:
1: Humans now suicide one at a time in the waiting room
2: Lose Humans (20%?)

- Feral Quadcopter
1: Lose Power
2: Lose 2 Humans - Max Power reduced

- Food Generator Calibration (Recipe)
1 & 2: Humans become Fat (Eat 50% more food - Exhausted 25% faster - Produce 100% more food)
3: Nothing

- Food Generator Calibration (Butts)
1: Humans eat 50% less - Humans exhaust 100% faster
2: Nothing
3: Humans eat 50% more - Humans exhaust 33% slower

- Glitches
1: Nothing
2: Glitchy screen (visual)

- Gotta Go Fast!
1 & 3: Power Generation 17% slower
2: Nothing

- Heat Wave
1-1: Lose 5 Humans - Heat exhausts Humans 33% faster
1-2: Gain 5 Humans - Heat exhausts Humans 33% faster
2-1: Lose 10 Humans
2-2: Heat exhausts Humans 33% faster
3: Lose Power - Heat exhausts Humans 33% faster

- Hope Generator
1: Spend 15% more energy
2: Lose Humans (30%)

- Hunger Strike
1: Lose Humans - Retry
2: Disables everything
3: Every human's death makes everyone else work 1% faster

- I hate this game
1-1-1-1-1: Nothing
Other Choices: Arms 20% slower

- Infection
1: Lose Humans (15%-20%)
2: Ignore Event
3: Breeding Tube disabled for a day

- Michael
All choices: Bio-reactor 50% slower

- Mouse
1: Gain Power
2: Lose Power - Zap tool (+11% work speed per shock for 10 seconds)
3: Bio-reactor disabled for a day

- Neoh's Revolution
All choices: Everything disabled until you put 10 Humans in the Bioreactor.
1 & 2-1: Lose 1 human.

- Oh Jah
1: Humans recover 25% slower
2: Lose Humans (15%?)

- Old Man
1: Lose Arm
2-1: Bio-reactor disabled for a day
2-2: Lose Arm

- Optimization
1: Lose Power - Arms randomly move Humans to Bio-reactor (10%)
2: Lose Power
3: Lose Power - Arms randomly drop Humans (10%)
4: Nothing - No power used

- Partner in Conversation
1-1: Power Cells - Use Humans to expand max Power by 10 (15 Humans max)
1-2: Nothing
2: Continues as 1

- Pipe
1: Breeding Tube 13% slower
2: Bio-reactor disabled for a day
3: Nothing

- Power Leak
1: Lose Power
2: Food Generator 25% faster

- Puzzle
Get the @ to 1, and then 2
Portal Guns - No need for arms to bring Humans to the Bioreactor

Rebel
1 & 2: Food Gen 25% slowed
3: Lose Human - Food Gen 25% slowed

- Replicant
1-1: Bio-reactor disabled for a day
1-2: Lose an arm
1-3-1: Lose an arm
1-3-2-1: Power Gen 15% faster
1-3-2-2: Lose an arm
2: Bio-reactor disabled for a day
3: Same as 1

- Shar-Pei!
1: Power Generator disabled for a day
2: Lose 1 Human
3: Lose Food (50%) - Get a dog (Useless)

- Smarty Pants
1: Lose 1 human
2-1: Nothing
2-2: Lose Power - Power Gen 18% faster
2-3: Lose 1 human

- Spy
1: Wait a day > Nothing
2: Wait a day > The Cyborg is Back
The Cyborg is Back
1: Breeding Tube disabled for a day
2: Gain 1 Cyborg

- Strange Disease
1: Humans exhaust 9% slower
2: Lose 1 human

- Stuck
All choices: Lose 1 human
1 & 3: Food Gen 13% slower
2: Food Gen disabled for a day

- Superconductors
1-1: Nothing
1-2: Lose Power - Spend less Power (7%)
2 & 3: Lose Power
4: Nothing

- The Old One
1-1 & 2: Lose Humans (50%)
1-2: An amount of arms turn into tentacles for the amount of Humans you use. (50% faster)

- TIPS
1: Upgrades are disabled for a day
2: Nothing

- Tree
1: Nothing
2: Power Gen 15% slower

- TV
1: Exhaustion 20% slower
2&3: Nothing

- Twins
1: Nothing
2: Twins - Breeding Tube 1.5 times slower - 2 Humans per birth

- Ubermensch
1: Lose Power
2: Nothing

- UTF-8-BOM
1-1: Nothing
1-2 & 2: Lose Power

- Unhygienic Conditions
1: Breeding Tube + Arm disabled for a day
2: Resource production 13% slower

- Vaccine:
1: Lose Humans
2: Lose Power
3: Some Humans gain the ability to randomly teleport

- Virus
1: Cyber-Zombies ( work slowed 17% - exhaustion slowed 33% )
2: Lose Power
3: Bio-reactor disabled for a day

- Wrong Settings
1: Twins - Breeding Tube 1.5 times slower - 2 Humans per birth
2: Conjoined Twins - Humans can only be grabbed in pairs 2 (Doubles Arm function)
3: Lose Humans (20%?), Repeats choices.
4: Nothing

- Butter
1: Lose Food
2: Food Gen disabled for a day
3: Lose Power

- B-but... Butterrrrr....
1: Lose Arm
2: Lose Human

- Back to the Roots
2: Correct Answer
Other Choices: Lose Power

I have likely missed a few choices, some because of certain decisions, others because I started making the guide a few days in, and haven't run across these since.

If you want to tell me which I've missed, please make a screenshot of the event, and if you want to go through the trouble also every possible of every choice you've made. Plus the description of the possible upgrade you have ♥♥♥♥♥♥.


Here's choice(s) that I know are incomplete or not entirely correct:

Ancient Manuscript:
2: Lose Power - Food Gen ??% Faster
Something here about sauce. Szechuan sauce is the right answer.


Again, if you want to tell me which I've missed, please make a screenshot of the event, and if you want to go through the trouble also every possible of every choice you've made. Plus the description of the possible upgrade you have ♥♥♥♥♥♥.
I will not add any choices that are text only, because I won't know if it's real or not.

Give credit to whom credit due.

So far:
The Devs of this game! - For making this game! Obviously!
Me - For save scumming way too many times to make this guide.
And more people are surely incoming.


Finally: Might updates change things and I'm not responding to comments; or might DLC happen and this guide isn't updated, for a full month (fairly likely). Then anyone has permission to copy the content of this guide and use it in their own guide in whatever format, as long as credit is given with link to the original guide (this guide).