"#533 +(420)- [X]<smcn> it's like richard simmons getting laid

<CodeMason> "ok girl, pump it, oh yes, left, right, left, right, in, out, that's the way!"
#537 +(174)- [X]<enex> You have invited Vic Viper to start using Microsoft Windows. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

<enex> Vic Viper does not have Microsoft Windows installed and is not able to accept your invitation.

<enex> Look how clever I am! ^_^
#718 +(81)- [X]<wild> i'm going to titty ♥♥♥♥ her on the casket
#757 +(99)- [X]<Primus> does any1 know how to tell just by looking, what size a RAM chip is?
#2177 +(105)- [X]<SAV2880> Ok, my point ... who the hell cares about the ZD bank account (as long as it's not -$5 million or something!)

<SwampGas> SAV2880: the 10 people who support emuchrist

<SwampGas> and it's my duty as owner of ztnet, owner of retrogames, owner of cps2 decryption tables to alert them
#2219 +(702)- [X]<SD-Washu> i still love the msg i got on my voicemail earlier

<SD-Washu> that was l33t

<biafra> what

<SD-Washu> oh my voicemail msg is in japanese

<SD-Washu> and someone called and the only thing i heard was "what the ♥♥♥...."

<SD-Washu> followed by *click*
#3457 +(1014)- [X]<Legatic> How can you think you matter when your URL has a tilde in it?
#4026 +(404)- [X]*** crunchybl has joined #xml

<crunchybl> anyone know xml in here
#6869 +(210)- [X]* BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.

BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person.  In fact, if people like that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss Freaking Congeniality, dammit!
#7191 +(42)- [X][@Eric^^] win [Eminem - Rap Attack - 16 - Eminem - Forget About Dre (Live From SNL Feat. Eminem).mp3] - (3m55s/192kbps) amp

[@nacitar] Rap Attack! OmG

• @nacitar gets rapped on by a crow
#7518 +(210)- [X]<Cerebus> death is the ++ at the end of life
#8450 +(306)- [X]<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today

<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet

<undrewb> aww thats nice

<undrewb> uh

<undrewb> thats not cuddling

<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword

<Tippytoes> oh well

<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA

<Tippytoes> piglet's happy

<Tippytoes> he's smiling

<jamesn> piglet is a ♥♥♥♥♥

<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince
#8530 +(171)- [X]<[Bryan]> cams: Damn I'm ugly man.. how do you hang around me?

<cams> i have no idea

<cams> it might be my blindness
#10141 +(42)- [X]<Mr_CAD> let's try a different encoding..

<Mr_CAD> hehe ANSI

<Mr_CAD> !translate en_zh test

<CCU-Bot> TRANSLATING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE

<CCU-Bot>  BABEL&nbsp;FISH&nbsp;&nbsp; The Web is full of suprises. Questions? Check out our FAQs.

<Mr_CAD> lol

<Mr_CAD> well, obviously it doesn't take ANSI :)
#11516 +(142)- [X]<Al> Cooties is God's way of punishing straights
#20189 +(426)- [X]<outcaste> When I was single, I used super sensitive condoms. They were so sensitive that they'd stick around and talk to the chiq for an hour after I'd gone
#20383 +(323)- [X][topic changed [ @lelesan [ Attention IRC Users: No one ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cares what mp3 you are listening to ]
#21122 +(89)- [X]<DrStrangelove> I used to swallow coins aswell.

<[DMK]Relvox> im too cheap to do that!
#23354 +(212)- [X]Snowy: I need

Snowy: To tell this guy

Snowy: ONly to press

Snowy: enter on special

Snowy: occasions
#34170 +(592)- [X]defiant_wench: I smoked pot for a month one night
#36190 +(143)- [X]<skn3[ac]> ITS A RE-DESIGN

<Clubsoft> Its a ♥♥♥♥-UP :P
#38638 +(126)- [X]*** Joins: Mikey (~Mikey@microsoft.com)

<Mikey> Whoops, gotta go to a meeting, sorry guys

*** Quits: Mikey

<Fayn> Poor guy...
#42117 +(591)- [X]<cuebol> very disturbing when she screams LOL LOL LOL in bed :~(
#47780 +(94)- [X]<Tobywrk> i want that internet fridge!!!!!!!

<Tobywrk> you set up a chair

<Tobywrk> beat off while watching porn

<Tobywrk> open it up and get a beer
#49828 +(253)- [X]<Supachikn> This transfer speed sucks man, what connection are you on? taken an hour and a half to transfer 1mb

<ToadLicka> DSL, What Transfer?

<Supachikn> This file I'm sending you.

<Supachikn> ♥♥♥♥, This file I'm sending THE WRONG PERSON

<Heysoose> HAHAHAHAH, wasted an hour and half, fewl
#53138 +(95)- [X]<Jeeeeebus> wtf

<Jeeeeebus> when I click the minimize button, it is minimizing my cursor to the other side of the screen

<Yawgmoth> its a feature, not a bug.
#55602 +(19)- [X]<Morstis> The oath of celibacy in the church only means the priest can secretly sodomize young boys instead of having open intercourse with women.
#136522 +(445)- [X]<eViL_oNe> oh goodgod!@

<eViL_oNe> HELP ME

<@lucifer> sorry. not qualified.
#136805 +(492)- [X][BoardMasta] you hate how sean runs stuff because he has no idea what he is doing

[Areoaelw] seans not the brightest cake on the candle :(
#137303 +(491)- [X]<Techdeck> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online resource to get *nix man pages
#214440 +(534)- [X]<Petersen> damnit

<Petersen> i just stood on a 512meg dimm

<Petersen> anyone wanna buy a pair of half length dimms? 256meg each
#221818 +(225)- [X](@Furrikain) quickly, put your head to my anus!

(@Furrikain) you can hear the sea =D
#386769 +(741)- [X](@_mara) Wanted:

(@_mara) A tall, well-built woman with good

(@_mara) reputation, who can cook frogs

(@_mara) legs, who appreciates a good fuo-

(@_mara) schia garden, classical music, and tal-

(@_mara) king without getting too serious.

(@_mara) But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5.
#430949 +(801)- [X]<princessangelic> how do you turn on a guy?

<+monty> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

<princessangelic> um before that

<+monty> get naked

<princessangelic> then?

<+monty> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

<princessangelic> hmmm I must have missed a memo somewhere

<jomomma> hahahahaha
#446107 +(361)- [X](Cap`nRoy) I hate salt

(Cap`nRoy) but I am the saltiest of the sea-dogs

(KaLdAiS712) If you were to lick Cap`nRoy, you would die of salt.

(KaLdAiS712) Also several venerial diseases.
#470021 +(1321)- [X]<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> how many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

<The_only_Vanilla_Willy> HOW MANY?!

<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> none they just sit in the dark and cry
#624209 +(1462)- [X]<Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :)

<Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question.

<Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you.

<Nickster> nvm then.
#626094 +(559)- [X]<JRJohn> At my high school we had a high school cop who would walk around proudly displaying his 9mm glock.

<JRJohn> also, he had about 10 boxes of ammo in his desk.

<ZoFreX> that's a little unsafe

<ZoFreX> ammo should be locked up

<JRJohn> WHY would you need more ammunition than there are kids in the school?

<ZoFreX> doubletap?
#643378 +(776)- [X]Cyclone: o i love ♥♥♥♥♥ ;D

McKhaos: i love christmas better

McKhaos: it comes around more often
#662700 +(343)- [X]<DaRk_oDiN>: So I get this notice in the mail saying my application was accepted at this college I applied to.

<DaRk_oDiN>: And I'm looking to get my degree in Computer Science and Technology from these people...

<DaRk_oDiN>: So, they schedule a placement test for me to take to see what ther classes I need to take.

<DaRk_oDiN>: That placement test happens to be on their website...

<DaRk_oDiN>: Turns out, their servers are friggen broken and I have to reschedule my placement test after witing for like two hours.

<DaRk_oDiN>: And I want these people to teach ME how to work on computers -_-

<DaRk_oDiN>: Maybe they wanted to show me the universal protocol of bullshitting your customers.

<DaRk_oDiN>"