It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Reality continues to ruin my life.