I was really happy to hear from you all about my thoughts on the best competitive ranking for personalities from 2019's political existentialist sleeper hit detective game Disco Elysium. While this game has garnered much praise as a masterclass in RPG writing, a worthy successor to Planescape Torment, almost definitely the most in depth conversation system ever put into gaming - and wildly funny injection of Marxist analysis into 21st century late capitalist alienation - I really didn't enjoy the game for any of that.

I am a competitive gamer. When I play, I play to win. And while some of you might be amused walking around the streets of Revachol telling everyone that you are a Superstar or debating the revolutionary potential of.... oh god I almost fell asleep in the middle of typing. Ahem- some of you may think it's a good time to discuss "theory" in a video game (a medium inherently made for children), and that's fine, I guess.

But here is my ranking of the most competitive Personality Build from in the current release patch of Disco Elysium from worst to best.

D TIER

Authority - The game has a clear Left Wing bias. Making a personality based on law and order simply unviable. You won't get far acting like a policeman in this video game about being a policeman.

Espirit du Corp - Although it is a testament to the dedication to world building the writing team had to name a personality trait in a language made up just for a children's game, this is basically the off -brand Authority trait, which as stated above is NOT good viable in this version of the game

Suggestion - The sex having trait. Unlike in my real life where I have definitely had sex there isn't that much of an opportunity to get laid in Revachol. But much like in my real life it is because I've destroyed my body and mind in a multi year long alcohol fueled death spiral. And instead of having sex you spend most of your time exhausted, unkempt and consumed by self loathing.

C TIER

Drama - Not a lot to go for here. I would only pick this if you were one of those weird theater kids or think its quirky to speak in a faux British accent and shout words like FORSOOTH in front of loved ones

Composure - Good if you want to be.. composed I guess? C tier

Physical Instrument - Strength. This would easily be an S Tier in any other video game in any other video game that isn't about an amnesiac drug addict debating revolutionary theory.

Visual Calculus - Pretty useless except for one part I encountered. For any competitive player you at least want a point or two here.

B TIER

Empathy - Here we are in a the Mediocre B tier. My first selection for "Meh" is the ability to Empathize with your fellow human beings.

Half Light - I don't even remember this trait and stuck it in here to give it the benefit of the doubt. Also it sounds like that other great computer game.

Hand Eye Coordination - You can coordinate your hand movements. Useful and boring. B tier.

Reaction Speed - Good for characters self esteem if anything. Much like real life I remember being insulted and harassed by other people, but too slow witted and cowardly to defend myself.

Perception - I strongly recommend that as of patch 1.03 Perception is still a must for all detectives. It helps you detect things.

Rhetoric - This will help you argue. Another decent pick.

A TIER

Conceptualization - Now we out of Mediocre and into Good. Conceptualization is a great skill to have. It allows you, as a player and as a character, to organize your disconnected observations into an abstract system of sweeping narratives. Having a skill in conceptualization means you are really smart. And though you might be a self hating drug addict with no close relationships, you REALLY understand what is going on. You ARE smarter than everyone else.

Electro Chemistry - One of the things you can truly become great at in this game consuming a wide variety of drugs that will help you out in many scenarios. For all you Superstar players this is an absolute Must.

Encyclopedia - A nice bonus if your into the lore. It's pretty good.

Interfacing - A more uself version of Hand Eye Coordination. Boring? Yes. But another required stat for you min maxers out there. I spent most of my playthrough in ridiculous looking yellow gardening glove for this reason.

Logic - Self explanatory. Makes sense.

Savoir Faire - Another Revocholian word hilariously thrown into the mix by the writers. If nothing else Disco Elysium is a masterpiece in world building. I remember this stat came up a lot more than expected. A tier.

Volition - This is your Sanity Bar. Absolutely needed for players that want a survivability build for mentally stressful situations.

S TIER

Inland Empire - Now we are on the completely broken end of the game. This ability allows you to rip through the fabric of Time and Space and see into the beyond. Not much practical use, but you feel like a god. S Tier.

Endurance - Literally your health. If you don't have enough points in this you die and the game ends. But some of you probably put more points into drama so you could talk all fancy like Shakespeare.

Pain Threshold - Another great min max stat. Want to feel invincible as you prowl the streets and debate the effects of neo-liberal foreign intervention in the name of human rights? This stat is for you.

Shivers - Completely game breaking. You can solve anything through sheer intuition. The devs have no intention of fixing this to my knowledge and its basically a Win button.