The Iron Ranger's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 9:34am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 3:05pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 10:51am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 2:59pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 10:18am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 6:40pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 8:26pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 10:38pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Jun @ 1:04am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 8 Jun @ 5:10pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 8 Jun @ 7:52pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 9:31pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 9:40pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 11:19pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 6:13pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 5:22pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 10:52am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 3:07pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 9:42pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 8 Jun @ 4:31pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 10:46pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 9:16pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 9:24pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 9:49am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 1:12am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 8:56pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 1:13am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 9:45am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 6:32pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 9:29am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 10:52am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 10:42pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 6:32pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 11:46pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 8 Jun @ 7:01pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 8:34pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 10 Jun @ 8:07pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 2 Jun @ 10:12am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 5:43pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 4 Jun @ 4:52pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 7 Jun @ 9:54pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 6 Jun @ 12:54am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 8 Jun @ 7:55pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 10 Jun @ 5:16pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 11 Jun @ 1:49pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 22 Jun @ 7:58pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

17 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

4 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

23 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

13 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

20 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

670 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

3 / 30