Astralis's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 1:19am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 6:07am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 1:44am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 5:11am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 1:50am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 1:05pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 2:01pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 21 Jan, 2023 @ 3:10pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2023 @ 2:56pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2023 @ 2:22pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2023 @ 7:22am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2023 @ 3:27pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 26 Jan, 2023 @ 3:59am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2023 @ 2:35pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2023 @ 2:38pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2023 @ 4:24am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 23 Jan, 2023 @ 2:26pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 5:24am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2023 @ 12:44pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2023 @ 4:16am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 22 Jan, 2023 @ 3:33pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2023 @ 1:24pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 5:11am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 1:52am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 1:32am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2023 @ 6:58am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2023 @ 3:39am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 27 Jan, 2023 @ 3:38pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2023 @ 1:56pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2023 @ 2:28pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2023 @ 6:48am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 30 May, 2023 @ 1:51am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2023 @ 1:19pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 12:43pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

17 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

17 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

12 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

7 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

1 / 3

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,425 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

2 / 30